


Flesh in flash

by sunshineandeyebrows



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Basically, Everyone Is Gay, Feelings, Fist Fights, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, It WAS supposed to be a one shot, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, a lot of swearing, but like you blink and it's over, eventually smut, hao is an artist, lots and lots of feelings, mingyu is pathetic, mingyu just is, not my fault it's college, posing naked, seventeen ensemble - Freeform, sorry just for a second, tons of alcohol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-05-08 14:48:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows
Summary: "I'll do it then," Mingyu says before he even knows what kind of words are leaving his mouth."I don't know, if that's a good idea," Minghao says slowly, his accent getting all floaty, like it always does when he's thinking."Why not?" Mingyu asks, taking a bite of food.He was a bit uncertain at first, but they're too competitive with each other for him to let go once he picks up on Minghao's reluctance. Anything to show Minghao he's capable of whatever it is this photoshoot requires."Because you'd have to be naked," Minghao deadpans and Mingyu chokes on the stew.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i based the photoshoot on a beautiful one i saw once, but unfortunately, i can't seem to find it, sorry.  
> this mess came to life because of Minghao and his black hair ruining my bias list.  
> enjoy!

"I swear to God, I'm gonna cut a bitch."

Minghao says it in Mandarin, but Mingyu has heard it enough to memorize the phrase perfectly.

He turns over his shoulder after making sure the stew isn't going to burn. Minghao runs a hand through his recently dyed black hair, huffing in frustration. Mingyu spent an hour on Seungcheol's floor, face down, the first time he saw that hair. He's just a little weak, okay. Wonwoo spent that hour poking his back and throwing mean comments.

"What happened?" Mingyu asks to make himself stop staring like an idiot.

"Remember how I told you I have all of my projects settled, because it was surprisingly easy to find models?" Minghao mutters darkly, falling into a chair.

"Yeah?" Mingyu nods, trying the stew to make sure it's perfect.

"So this one son of a bitch just cancelled on me and the deadline is next week," Minghao growls.

Mingyu swallows heavily, busying himself with filling two bowls with food. He just can't when Minghao's voice gets all dark like that.

"You'll find someone, you never had a problem with that," he says, setting everything on the table so they can eat.

Minghao reaches for chopsticks and a spoon, glaring at nothing in particular. Mingyu sometimes just wants to smother him in hugs, because a pissed Minghao is adorable, as long as he's not pissed at Mingyu.

"It's not that simple this time," Minghao mumbles, stuffing his face. "I had a deal with that guy since three weeks ago."

Mingyu frowns slightly, confused.

"You usually find people in two, three days," he points out.

Minghao chews angrily. Mingyu likes watching him eat food prepared by him, it satisfies what Joshua calls Weird Protective Instincts™. Mingyu doesn't think it's weird, he simply likes providing for people he loves, and Minghao just happens to be one of those people he cares about a bit more than others.

"Like I said, it's different this time," Minghao says crisply.

Mingyu shrugs.

"I'll do it then," he says before he even knows what kind of words are leaving his mouth.

Minghao pauses in his movements and looks up at him slowly.

He has asked a few times before. It were very artistic pictures, edited with splashes of color or smudged to the point it didn't matter who was on them, because only the silhouette was important. Once, it was only about hands and arms. Another time, Minghao needed someone to stand with their back to the camera. Mingyu didn't mind at all and it was easier for Minghao to make him do it instead of looking for someone else.

None of the pictures have ever showed Mingyu's face, though. He had been a bit jealous about that at one point, because Minghao has asked Seungcheol and Soonyoung, and Hansol to model for him with provocative make-up. But then Minghao noticed and made fun of him for acting like a kid. And then told him he doesn't like photographing faces that are too pretty.

Hansol pouted for five days when Mingyu told him, but Minghao finally snapped and explained that it's because he's half white, not because he's ugly. Minghao likes interesting objects, original, and Mingyu sometimes thinks he would also want to find something as suitable for him as photography is for Minghao.

"I don't know, if that's a good idea," Minghao says slowly, his accent getting all floaty, like it always does when he's thinking.

"Why not?" Mingyu asks, taking a bite of food.

He was a bit uncertain at first, but they're too competitive with each other for him to let go once he picks up on Minghao's reluctance. Anything to show Minghao he's capable of whatever it is this photoshoot requires.

"Because you'd have to be naked," Minghao deadpans and Mingyu chokes on the stew.

Minghao pats his back patiently with a heavy sigh.

"Maybe Jeonghan-hyung would do it," Minghao wonders out loud, but then makes a face. "No, that's not it. I could ask Bam, if Jaebum-hyung would, though," he hums with a concentrated frown.

Mingyu regains enough composure to reach for water. He tries very hard not to imagine any kind of situation involving him naked around Minghao, but it's pretty much a lost cause. His throat is burning and his face isn't far behind.

Minghao is still muttering to himself and Mingyu stares at him incredulously, until shock and inappropriate thoughts give way to feeling challenged. Because Minghao doesn't think he can do it and Mingyu would do a lot more than strip to prove him wrong. Especially that Minghao's potential choices are getting more and more ridiculous. Like, where is Yugyeom better than Mingyu is.

"Hao-ah," Mingyu tries.

Minghao scrunches up his nose, which means Yugyeom isn't the best option, after all.

"Hoseok-hyung?" Minghao wonders. He narrows his eyes. "Nah, too bulky."

"Hao-ah," Mingyu repeats.

Minghao focuses his gaze on him and raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I'll do it," Mingyu says decisively.

Minghao rolls his eyes.

"You almost killed yourself just now and I barely mentioned it," he points out.

Mingyu clears his throat, cheeks too warm.

"So what, I was surprised."

Minghao stares at him, unimpressed.

"I'm serious," Mingyu tries. "You need a lot of time to edit the pictures, how are you gonna find someone so quickly?"

Minghao grimaces, messing with his hair again. Mingyu watches his long fingers disappear in black strands and tells himself not to be weird again. It's nerve-wracking to wait for Minghao's decision like this, because he still wants to prove him wrong, but there are doubts already spreading in his chest. What if he makes it all weird? They're best friends, they shouldn't see each other naked like this, no matter how whipped Mingyu is. Not that they've never seen each other naked, but there is a difference between forgetting a towel after a shower and doing a photoshoot. Minghao is a pro, but Mingyu barely has any experience in modelling. It could get awkward and the fact they're roommates can only make it worse. What if Mingyu gets hard in the middle of the shoot and Minghao judges him? Or worse, laughs at him?

"Okay," Minghao says, cutting off Mingyu's spiral of panic effectively. "You have until tomorrow to change your mind."

Mingyu blinks at him in surprise.

"Really? Are you sure?"

Minghao shrugs.

"Well, you'd be good for the concept. But if you decide you don't want to, let me know tomorrow morning. Okay?"

Mingyu nods, a bit dumbstruck. He's not sure what to expect from a naked photoshoot, but as he's lying in his bed, wide awake at an ass o'clock in the morning, he can't help but recall all the porn with similar setting he's ever watched. As a result, he looks and feels like a zombie the next day and sleeps through his alarm.

Minghao raises his eyebrows when Mingyu runs into the kitchen, sipping on his black, sour coffee like it's fuel for his black, sour soul.

"So?" he asks only and Mingyu is grateful he stops there instead of teasing Mingyu like usually.

Mingyu sets his jaw.

"I'll do it," he says, quickly fixing them something to eat, because he won't let Minghao out of the house without breakfast.

Minghao throws him a flat look.

"I know you're stubborn and don't like to lose, but I gave you the night to think things through, not stick with your... How do you say stubborn in like," he gestures vaguely.

"Stubbornness," Mingyu supplies begrudgingly.

"Right," Minghao nods and shoots a finger gun at him. He does that too much, even though Mingyu always tells him it's lame. "That's it. Stubbornness. Did you think about it even a little?"

Mingyu has. He probably spent too much time thinking about it, actually. Just maybe not in a way Minghao meant, but he doesn't have to know about Mingyu's trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

"Yes," Mingyu grits through his teeth, because he's past being shameful about jerking off to the image of his best friend, but it's still not a very pleasant thing and he doesn't want to think about it with said best friend sitting right in front of him.

"Fine," Minghao says. "Sit down," he pats the table lightly.

Mingyu pointedly glances at the eggs that are still only halfway done. He's going to be so late and Seokmin will so kill him for having to save a seat for him. There is always at least five people that ask him, if it's free, because everyone likes Seokmin and wants to sit next to him, and Seokmin hates refusing anyone anything.

"You're serving me completely unnecessary amounts of stress," he always hisses at Mingyu and proceeds to spend the whole day huffing and puffing at him.

Minghao rolls his eyes and Mingyu sometimes wonders how much more until they fall out.

"Leave it," Minghao says.

"You're gonna forget to eat till evening again, I have to feed you," Mingyu protests.

Minghao seems to get more impatient, but doesn't say anything to that and waits for Mingyu to get them both food.

"Listen," he says, picking at his eggs. Mingyu narrows his eyes at him. Minghao takes a bite to placate him. "If you really want to do this, there are rules. It's not as simple as the previous times."

"Okay," Mingyu nods seriously, his spine tingling from nerves.

"First of all," Minghao starts, staring him down. "If you bail in the middle of shooting, I will shoot you with something other than my camera."

Mingyu gulps. Minghao looks absolutely serious and Mingyu doesn't doubt for a second that he wouldn't come out of it intact.

"Got it," he says.

"If you think you might get cold feet, you have to tell me now, because I need to find someone else then," Minghao emphasizes.

"I won't," Mingyu promises.

Minghao waits him out, but even though Mingyu is almost sweating from anticipation and stress, he knows he won't go back on it. It's as good a time as any to let Minghao watch him being naked. He wishes it was in a bit different circumstances, but you take what you can get, right?

"I won't show your face," Minghao says next. "I promise. I also won't show your dick, it's not supposed to be porn."

Mingyu can feel his face catching fire, but at the same time, relief makes him sag. Minghao smirks and it changes into that one lopsided smile Mingyu absolutely loves.

"I forgot to tell you that yesterday, but now I'm kinda glad I didn't," he says, the little shit.

Mingyu glares at him. He doesn't even want to know how red his cheeks are.

"Backing out?" Minghao asks with a shit eating grin.

"I should, just so you would have a problem with finishing your project," Mingyu mutters. "Eat your food," he adds begrudgingly.

He thinks he didn't want to notice how Minghao's smile softens just a tiny bit, as he shovels eggs into his mouth.

***

"Why is he on the floor again?" Hansol asks in confusion.

Seungcheol clucks his tongue in a way only he can, full of exasperation and fondness.

"Because he came by to tell me about posing naked for Myungho and didn't know Jeonghan was here."

"Ah," Hansol must nod in pained understanding and support, because he's all for empathy for his bros. "Wait, he posed naked for Hao-hyung?!"

Mingyu sighs into the floor. Hansol has always had a problem with processing everything right away.

"Not yet," Seungcheol says quickly. "But he was freaking out enough when he came and now Jeonghan is out there probably telling everyone he knows."

Mingyu lets out a sound that resembles the cry of a dying whale.

"Dude," Hansol says with feeling and gently pats Mingyu's back with a foot.

Mingyu appreciates the gesture, even though he would prefer a hand, after all. The door bangs open.

"You're posing naked for Minghao?!" Soonyoung, Seokmin and Seungkwan yell simultaneously.

Mingyu thinks he's going to cry. He, of course, expected it to end up like this, because his group of friends consists of nothing but assholes, but it doesn't mean he can't despair over it. Wonwoo is going to be the worst and Mingyu only waits for him to burst in just like the three dumbasses did right now.

"Just leave him alone, guys," Seungcheol says tiredly. "It's already bad as it is."

Someone pulls him up to his feet and Mingyu goes with a protesting groan. Seokmin sinks his fingers into Mingyu's shoulders to hold his gaze with a strong one of his own.

"What the hell," he says. "You've had it bad enough without this, Kim Mingyu."

Mingyu just whines. Soonyoung nods solemnly in the back.

"Crushing on your best friend is never good," he says. "I would know. But this is just making it ninety seven times worse."

Mingyu makes another pathetic sound. He remembers how hard it had been on Soonyoung to be in love with Wonwoo. One of the worst crises they've ever had as a group of close friends. Soonyoung and Wonwoo hadn't spoken to each other for weeks. Mingyu has no idea how it would have ended, if not for Jihoon, and he'd rather not find out. He can't picture anyone else helping Soonyoung to get a grip like Jihoon did that time. Who knew it would all lead Soonyoung to start a relationship with another best friend. They all laugh about it now, and neither Soonyoung nor Wonwoo mind the teasing comments, but Mingyu never wants to repeat that kind of situation ever again.

That's mostly why he still hasn't done anything about his stupid feelings. Minghao is a very complicated person and Mingyu has no way of knowing what would happen, if he confessed.

There are moments, of course. They're both young and horny more often than not. Minghao sometimes disappears for a night, usually when he goes clubbing with someone from their group. Mingyu always gets a text from him then, but it doesn't calm him down, it's actually the opposite. It's a bit better that it's always a random stranger Minghao doesn't mention again, because Mingyu would never forgive any of their friends, if it was them, but he's still bitter every time.

Minghao always seems to be a bit more careful around him than usual the next day and Mingyu sometimes thinks Minghao knows everything. There are days he catches Minghao watching him contemplatively. Minghao always holds his gaze, calm and unreadable. There are days Mingyu is so frustrated, he doesn't care Minghao can probably hear him panting and groaning from behind the wall. There are days they can basically sit in each other's laps and be fine and casual about it, but then there are also days accidental brushes of fingers or passing each other in the door too closely seems to make both of their breaths hitch. There are days only Mingyu seems to get affected, while Minghao doesn't even bat an eyelash. There are a lot of those.

It doesn't help that Mingyu is painfully obvious about it, while no one, not even Junhui, knows what's inside Minghao's head.

"What was I supposed to do?" Mingyu whines, thumping his head on Seokmin's shoulder and staying there. "He would never find someone in a day."

"You care way too much," Seungkwan huffs, even though he would do the same and everyone knows it.

"Stop freaking out, Mingyu-ah," Seungcheol says gently. "Myungho has already seen you naked, right? There is nothing you can do about it now anyway, if you promised. It's gonna be fine."

No, it's not, Mingyu thinks, but the fact that it's Seungcheol somehow helps for everything. Seokmin pats his back.

"Oh my God," Hansol says suddenly. "What if you get a boner?"

Mingyu's head is buried in Seokmin's shoulder, but from the sound of it, Seungkwan smacks the younger one upside the head.

Seungcheol sighs long-sufferingly.

"I swear y'all are gonna cost me at least ten years of my life."

Mingyu can't really argue with that.

***

It's another difficult night for Mingyu then, because he's so nervous, he can't fall asleep at all. And he should, if only to survive his morning lecture without getting in trouble for nodding off in the middle of it.

It seems Jeonghan has told everyone he possibly could, because Mingyu can feel more stares on himself than usually, people whispering as he passes the halls. It's uncomfortable, but at least he doesn't feel sleepy anymore.

Something barrels into him with a force that almost sends him to the floor.

"Haohao told me, the hell, man?!" Bambam whisper-yells urgently.

It's been a day and Mingyu is already done with everything.

"Dude, I've had enough of this, believe me, I've been questioning myself since I agreed to do it," he mutters tiredly.

Bambam pats his shoulder and passes him his coffee for a sip, because he's a little shit, but he's not completely heartless.

"Hao said he doesn't believe you're gonna do it," he informs Mingyu and Mingyu takes it all back.

Bambam wouldn't know empathy, if it punched him in the face.

"What else did he say?" Mingyu asks, biting his lip.

Bambam shuffles his feet awkwardly.

"That there is a huge chance it's gonna get weird between you after it?" he mumbles, voice tilting at the end unsurely.

Mingyu can feel a burning sensation in his stomach at the words, because it sucks to have your best friend doubt you. But then it's more of an urgent need to prove said best friend wrong, something Mingyu is way more familiar with.

"Anything else?" he grits through his teeth.

"Well," Bambam starts, pursing his lips in thought. "Oh, he said you'd better not chicken out, because he won't be able to find anyone in such a short time."

That actually makes it better. Mingyu remembers how Junhui once told him Minghao is a tsundere. He's sure Hansol taught him that word, but it doesn't really matter, because it's painfully true. If Minghao didn't count on him to do what he promised, he'd find someone else just in case, to have a backup plan.

"Thanks," Mingyu sighs.

Bambam takes his coffee back and grins.

"Send me the pictures when you're finished."

Mingyu snorts, cheeks warming.

"You wish."

"Don't worry, man, just don't be too self-conscious about it," Bambam pats his shoulder. "Being naked is completely natural stuff."

Not with your best friend that you have complicated feelings for, Mingyu wants to say, but doesn't manage, because Bambam glances at his expensive-looking golden watch and yells, "Oh shit, good luck, gotta run!"

And then he's gone. Mingyu just wants everything to be over. His spine is tingling from nervous anticipation through the whole lecture and Jeongguk throws him exasperated glances whenever Mingyu shifts impatiently on his chair. Which is a lot.

Seokmin just stares at him with pity.

"Good luck," he says when they finish their classes. "Just don't- nevermind," he looks pretty worried. "Call me, if something happens."

Mingyu nods, throat too dry to form words. He really appreciates the concern, but he could use some faith that taking pictures isn't going to ruin his most important friendship.

***

Minghao is setting up the lighting when Mingyu gets home. Their kitchen and living room seem to be rearranged slightly, though Mingyu couldn't say what exactly changed, if asked. Minghao takes a few steps back to check his work and nods to himself.

"We're doing it here?" Mingyu asks stupidly.

Minghao looks at him like he's the biggest idiot he's ever seen.

"You wanted to use the studio at the uni everyone has access to?" he asks pointedly.

Mingyu clears his throat, busying himself with taking off his shoes.

"You have about half an hour to get ready, if you want," Minghao says then. "Take a shower or something. We can also start right away. The light will suck soon, so."

His eyes are too piercing behind black bangs and Mingyu mumbles something barely intelligible before locking himself in the bathroom. He exhales loudly, looking himself up and down in the mirror. It's fine, he can do this, there is nothing he's not confident about in his body. Shower takes him five minutes, but he spends some extra time putting on lotion and fixing his hair.

"You're freaking out," Minghao observes when Mingyu gets out in a shirt and underwear.

"I said I'm gonna do it, so I'm gonna do it," Mingyu says firmly.

Minghao stares him down and there is a moment they just look at each other, tense, neither backing out.

"Okay," Minghao says. Mingyu thinks his voice is lower than usual, but he's not sure. "Strip."

Mingyu can do nothing to stop the whole-body shiver that breaks over his skin at that simple command. From the look on his face, Minghao is daring him to chicken out, to say he can't, after all. Mingyu breaks the eye contact only to slip the shirt over his head. Minghao's gaze slides down his body slowly and Mingyu can almost physically feel it, goosebumps covering his chest. His heart must be beating at least three times faster. Minghao goes back to his face, raising an eyebrow. Mingyu wants to run his fingers through the black, messy hair. He swallows heavily and bends down to take off his underwear, straightening immediately. He barely stops himself from covering his crotch. Minghao doesn't look this time.

"Couch," he says only and Mingyu moves, heart in his throat, praying not to get a boner. "Put your arms on the backrest," Minghao instructs.

Mingyu spreads his arms, the texture of the couch weird against his bare skin.

"Like this?"

Minghao hums. He's behind Mingyu now.

"Turn your head to the side, but not much."

Mingyu tilts his head, hearing the unmistakable click of the camera. There can't be much visible except for his shoulders and head, and if Minghao wants to do this kind of pictures, it's going to be fine. Right? Mingyu relaxes just a bit.

"Lie down," Minghao says. He's a lot closer now. "On your stomach. And cover your face with your arm."

Mingyu tries to follow the instruction, but he doesn't really know what he's doing, because he keeps thinking about his bare ass in the air like this.

"That should do," Minghao mutters. "Oh yeah," he says suddenly. "I forgot to tell you something."

"Again?" Mingyu groans into his arm.

He feels tense and it must show in his body, in the way his muscles flex, and that's probably not good for the whole picture taking purposes.

"I won't touch you unless you can't get what I mean at all, so you can chill the fuck out," Minghao snorts.

Mingyu sags against the couch, because that surely decreases the chance of an unwanted boner.

"That's it," Minghao murmurs, low and pleased, and Mingyu bites his lip.

The chance is still there, after all.

"Turn to your side towards the couch," Minghao mutters, clearly busy with the camera.

Mingyu does and it's even weirder now, but at least he's not freaking out anymore. Minghao tells him to make a few other poses and then makes the sound he always does when he's satisfied with something.

"Okay, now the harder part," he smirks and Mingyu wishes he used a different word.

Minghao must know, because his face is the same as when he teases Mingyu or Soonyoung about whatever they're uncomfortable with at the moment.

Mingyu is very uncomfortable with everything that's happening right now. He waits for Minghao to explain, toying absently with a pillow he put in his lap as soon as they were done.

"Stand by the window," Minghao says.

Mingyu can instantly feel the surge of panic, because until now he at least had the illusion that he can cover himself, but this is going to be just him and Minghao with his camera, no couch, no pillows, no nothing.

"This is still pretty easy," Minghao informs him casually and Mingyu fears what will come next. "Remember I won't show your face and your dick."

It sounds vulgar now, like Minghao is provoking him, but Mingyu has no idea how Minghao wants him to react to it.

"With your front to the window," Minghao adds, adjusting some of the white screens to make it look better.

Mingyu would say it's because he wants to give Mingyu the tiniest bit of privacy, but it's Minghao. Minghao isn't the most considerate being on this planet. Not even close.

Mingyu stands by the window, wondering if the curtains are enough to prevent their neighbors from calling the police. That would probably drastically change his friendly relationship with every nice, old lady in their apartment block. It's a strange feeling to be completely exposed like that, his whole body unrestrained with clothes. It doesn't feel bad, though.

"Let your hands down your sides," Minghao says and Mingyu startles, so absorbed in finding new sensations that he actually forgot for a second what's the purpose of this. "And turn your head again. Yeah, that's good. Like that."

Minghao doesn't mean it like this, Mingyu knows, but it's still easier to relax when he's being praised. At least he's not absolutely useless at this posing thing, because Minghao doesn't touch him once for the whole time he's standing by the window.

"You're actually better at this than I thought," Minghao mutters, looking through the pictures he just took.

Mingyu kind of wants to see them, but it would be awkward to look at himself naked over Minghao's shoulder, so he stays where he is.

"Okay, the kitchen," Minghao says.

Mingyu follows him kind of in a daze, still not really believing what they're doing. Minghao turns around suddenly and Mingyu doesn't stop in time, so they bump into each other. There is a moment when they just look and it seems Minghao is holding his breath as well. Mingyu can see how his eyes widen just a tiny bit in surprise. Their chests are touching and it would take so little to just lean down and press their lips together.

Minghao slips away in a movement so natural, Mingyu needs a moment to realize he's gone.

"Go on, I forgot a lens," Minghao says, already in his room. "Sit on the chair, the one closer to the window."

Mingyu presses a hand to his chest, exhaling noisily. His heart is throbbing painfully, stomach clenching. He sits in the chair, the wood cold against his butt. More than ruining their friendship, this whole thing is going to ruin his health.

Minghao gets back and stands over him for a few long seconds, dark hair falling into his piercing eyes and the tingling is back in Mingyu's spine. Minghao's gaze never slips down his body like it did when Mingyu still had his underwear on, but it doesn't have to. It's so powerful that Mingyu tenses in his wait for... something. He doesn't have the need to cover himself up anymore, it's more of the opposite. If Minghao told him to get on his knees now, he would without any hesitation.

"Here," Minghao says, placing a mug on the table next to Mingyu. "Touch it, don't pick it up."

Mingyu nods, watching him as he rounds the table to get a shot with it covering Mingyu's private parts.

"Look ahead," Minghao orders and Mingyu immediately turns his head.

It's kind of strange to be sitting with his side to the table, not with his front. He contemplates his bare legs for a second. It's starting to get chilly. He toys with the mug absently, his thoughts somewhere in his bed with Minghao right on top of him. He backtracks after a minute, because he still doesn't want a boner situation right now.

"Mingyu-ah," Minghao snaps fingers in his face to get his attention, which means he drifted off too much.

"Yeah? Yeah, sorry," he says quickly.

Minghao straightens, putting a hand on his hip.

"I said stand by the counter," there is something in his voice now, something Mingyu can't pinpoint, but it causes goosebumps all over his arms.

Minghao sits on the counter, his legs hanging loosely, and Mingyu has to stop himself with everything he's got not to fit himself between them. Instead, he stands next to Minghao, the counter reaching below his navel.

"Do one of the things you usually do in the kitchen, like cutting things or making tea," Minghao says.

He's not looking at Mingyu now, busy with his camera, and the lack of attention is worse than if Minghao openly laughed at his naked body.

Mingyu reaches for the kettle, thoughts about not dropping it and spilling water on himself replacing for a moment those about Minghao.

They move over to the sink and Mingyu's arms and chest are covered in bubbles before Minghao decides it's enough.

"You're comfortable already, right?" he asks, leaning against the counter right next to Mingyu like it's no big deal.

Mingyu is hyper-aware of Minghao's clothed hip pressed to his thigh and he has to focus super hard on the question to even understand the words.

"Yeah, I guess I'm good," he says, clearing his throat.

Minghao looks up at him, humming thoughtfully, as if he wants to test that. Mingyu turns away to wash off the bubbles.

"Great," Minghao says. "Move to the bed then."

Mingyu gulps. He's been pretty much biting his tongue not to say something stupid during this entire shoot, but right now it seems almost impossible not to blurt a _yes, sir_ or another equally embarrassing thing.

"No," Minghao's voice stops him in the door to his room, sharp. "Not your bed."

Mingyu turns around to look at him incredulously. Minghao has the audacity to smirk, pointing in the direction of his bedroom nonchalantly. Mingyu is starting to think Minghao is enjoying this way too much.

He expects the dark grey sheets that always cover Minghao's bed, but right now everything is white, the sun filtering in through simple, half transparent curtains. The room is tidy, only a few subtle gadgets lying around. Minghao must have put away all the stuff usually covering every surface of his furniture. There is his black alarm clock on the nightstand and the pictures he saves to hang on a board above the bed are still in place, but Mingyu can't see anything else personal. There is a single carnation on the dresser in a pretty, simple, white vase.

"You like it?" Minghao asks softly from behind him and Mingyu realizes he froze in place.

"It's pretty," he says quietly. "But I prefer when it looks like your room."

He turns to look at Minghao, who only has an unreadable half a smile on his face.

"I'll fix it once we're done," he says.

Mingyu just nods.

"How do you want me?" he asks and there goes not saying anything stupid.

He curses inwardly, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Minghao's face.

"I guess you're _really_ comfortable by now," Minghao mutters, grin in his voice. "Stand in the window, it should be fine from this side of the building."

Mingyu glances at him in alarm, because it's still standing naked in a window for the whole world to see, whether he is mostly covered by trees or not.

Minghao laughs at his face.

"With your back, Mingyu, I'm not that much of an asshole" he huffs in his amusement. "No one will see you anyway, and if they do, it's just gonna be your back, don't freak out."

Mingyu exhales, glaring at him begrudgingly. He leans against the windowsill, curtains floating around him in the breeze. Sunlight jumps on his shoulders, piercing through the leaves, and Mingyu relaxes his shoulders, rolls back his head to loosen the tense muscles. His hands automatically reach for the soft material brushing his sides and maybe it's strange, because he's naked with his best friend taking pictures of him _being_ naked, but it's been a while since he felt this peaceful.

Minghao doesn't say anything, doesn't tell him how to pose. The silence is full of the leaves rustling behind him and singing of birds. Mingyu smiles. The characteristic sound of the camera gets lost in the wind. His back feels warm in the sun.

"Mingyu," Minghao says from somewhere very close.

Mingyu blinks abruptly and almost falls out of the window, because Minghao's face is right in his own. Minghao steadies him easily with a little grin and reaches up to his hair. Mingyu's heart skips painfully and his breath stutters. Minghao pulls a leaf off his head and moves away. Mingyu stares at him, ruffled. His chest aches.

"Sit on the bed," Minghao tells him, reaching for the camera he left on the nightstand. "With your back to me."

Mingyu sinks down, wondering what he's even doing with his life. It's going to take more than an hour on Seungcheol's floor to get over this.

"Okay, good," Minghao says. "Now stretch."

Mingyu lifts his arms, his joints popping deliciously. Maybe he could go to Joshua after they're done. Joshua always has tea and doesn't mind when Mingyu comes by just to whine about his dumb feelings.

"Now straighten your back," Minghao instructs, but clucks his tongue as soon as Mingyu does what he's told. "Not like this, don't tense up."

Mingyu tries to relax, tries to do exactly what Minghao wants from him, but he never sits straight unless his back hurts from bending over his desk for too long.

He gasps quietly, when he feels Minghao's hands on his shoulders, cool to the touch and so slim. They smooth out his skin, slow and delicate. Mingyu's breath catches in his throat, as two long fingers slide up his spine.

"That's it," Minghao murmurs, low and too close to Mingyu's ear. "You just have to pull your head up. Like this."

His hands close around Mingyu's jaw and tug, and Mingyu just goes with it.

"Don't move," Minghao orders, a puff of warm air on Mingyu's nape.

"Okay," Mingyu rasps, barely containing the shudder.

Minghao's hands disappear, but it feels like they're still there. Mingyu doesn't move, as Minghao takes a shot from a few angles.

"Lie down," Minghao says finally and Mingyu can breathe again. "Just like, upside down."

Mingyu's heart slows down, his legs burying in the soft sheets, and the air seems warmer and much gentler than a few seconds ago. Mingyu stretches again, without prompting this time, inhales, exhales, and finds back his balance.

"Hang one arm off the bed," Minghao tells him.

Mingyu rolls to his side, almost touching the floor, the sheets now tangled around his thighs. It's actually pretty fun, all the posing, just maybe minus the heart palpitations. He was too nervous to notice earlier, but he's actually enjoying himself. Minghao tells him to lie in a few different ways and then he hums thoughtfully.

"I wanna try something," he says, standing over Mingyu at the end of the bed. "Lie on your back," he instructs, crouching down a few feet away from Mingyu. "And hang your head off the bed, but just a little. I want you to stretch your neck."

Mingyu stares at him upside down for a second and then finally moves. The covers are bundled around his left leg now, pooling on his stomach. He doesn't move them away and Minghao doesn't mention it, so it must be fine. His head starts spinning pretty quickly, but Minghao is smiling in satisfaction, so Mingyu doesn't complain.

"Awesome," Minghao mumbles, probably more to himself than Mingyu, but it's still a praise and Mingyu smiles, too. "Okay, sit up."

As soon as Mingyu does, something lands on his head. He takes it off in confusion.

"Put it on and then slowly undress," Minghao says.

It's a shirt, a simple white one without sleeves. Mingyu slips it on and the feeling is a bit uncomfortable after so long without anything on his body. He grabs the hem, when Minghao signals he can, and lifts it inch by inch.

Minghao's room is on the southern side of the building, so the sun stays in it longer, having reached the bed sometime during Mingyu rolling all over it to do different poses. It's warm on his back, a pleasant sensation that makes him want to stay here forever and lazy around.

Minghao moves around to photograph his back, but gets back to the front when the shirt is more on Mingyu's head than his torso. Mingyu tries to take it off with unrushed movements, but then suddenly his elbow locks and he laughs incredulously.

"What?" Minghao asks.

"I'm stuck," Mingyu says through the cotton and uncontrollable giggling.

"Jesus, Kim Mingyu, you're the definition of clumsy," Minghao sighs and Mingyu can _hear_ him roll his eyes.

His voice is full of exasperation, as almost always in Minghao's case, but it's also pretty fond, the kind you use to address your best friend's dumb antics. Mingyu's heart skips, the grin still wide on his face.

"You need help?" Minghao adds.

Mingyu shakes his head and rolls back his shoulders, finally freeing his arms. He takes the shirt off completely, still laughing, his hair probably a mess.

Minghao snaps another picture, lowering the camera with his eyes wide.

"What?" Mingyu asks, unable to stop smiling.

"No, it's..." Minghao pauses, frowns down at the device in his hands. "Nothing," he finishes quietly.

Mingyu is intrigued, but doesn't ask anymore. Minghao sits down on the bed next to him.

"What now?" Mingyu asks, running a hand through his hair to fix it even if just a little.

"That's all I had prepared," Minghao shrugs.

"Oh," Mingyu mumbles.

His good humor is suddenly gone. He doesn't remember the last time they did something together, be it going out to eat or simply watching a drama in the evening. They're both busy with finals and there are also Mingyu's stupid feelings that make him moody and depressed most of the time. Posing naked was way more fun than he thought it would be. He doesn't want it to end.

"You have enough?" he asks tentatively.

Minghao looks up at him from browsing the pictures.

"About two hundred," he says slowly.

"Wow," Mingyu blinks in surprise. "That many?"

"It's all about the lighting and angles," Minghao explains. "I usually take about twenty of only one pose and pick the best later."

"That's amazing," Mingyu says in absolute awe. "It must be hard to pick."

Minghao grumbles something under his breath. It sounds like Mandarin.

"What?" Mingyu asks.

"I said, that's why the bitch that cancelled on me in the last minute has it coming," Minghao repeats darkly.

Mingyu moves back a bit, just in case.

"Actually," Minghao starts contemplatively. "We could do one more thing, since you're not nervous anymore."

Excitement surges through Mingyu so fast, it makes him dizzy.

"Really?!" he exclaims happily and clears his throat right after, because that might have been too much.

Minghao grins at him, though, amused, his eyes sparkling.

"Just give me a minute to set things up," he says.

Mingyu watches him curiously and his spine prickles, when he understands what Minghao wants to do. He definitely needs to not be nervous for that.

"Come here," Minghao says finally.

Mingyu doesn't need to be told twice. He leaves the bed, walking over to where Minghao is standing in front of his enormous wall mirror.

This time, Minghao looks. His gaze slides down Mingyu's body, unhurried, and it feels like Mingyu's skin burns from it. It's not terrifying right now, though. Something seems to shift between them, and Mingyu waits, heart in his throat, but Minghao slips away just like before. Mingyu still thinks his moves were slower and more reluctant this time. He doesn't have a choice but to take a big breath and count it as one of their moments, though.

The mirror is cold on his skin. Minghao snaps pictures from much closer distance than before. Mingyu figures it doesn't have to be the whole body, but it still makes his stomach flip every time Minghao is right next to him. Minghao doesn't stop himself from looking at him now. Not that he did before, but maybe Mingyu can see it clearly only in his current position. It's exhilarating to have Minghao's attention like this, completely undivided and intense.

"Don't do anything with your hands," Minghao says. "Just let them be naturally. Turn your head. Good. Now tip it back. That's it. Touch your hair."

He gives a few other instructions, but eventually lets Mingyu do what he wants, just snapping pictures.

"Okay, I think that's enough," he decides after a long while.

The sun reached Mingyu's feet. The lighting is probably no good anymore. Minghao sits down on the bed and looks up at him through his dark bangs, his shirt cut low enough to show his collarbones, and Mingyu's imagination just runs ahead and supplies this scene with Minghao telling him to _come here_ in a dark voice. And then Mingyu would just straddle him and card his fingers through that black hair and-

"Thanks," Minghao says suddenly.

He sounds so earnest, Mingyu immediately feels shame flood his cheeks. He quickly joins Minghao on the bed, gathering the sheets in his lap, because the photoshoot is over and he doesn't need to be naked anymore. It's a bit regretful, he realizes with mild surprise.

"What do you want?" Minghao asks, staring at him again. Mingyu swears that gaze is going to be the death of him. "In exchange, I mean."

Mingyu shrugs. He didn't think about that.

"What is it usually?"

"Pictures," Minghao says simply. "I take them and can use them for my portfolio, and whoever agrees to a photoshoot can have their pictures pretty edited."

"Prettily," Mingyu corrects on autopilot.

"Whatever," Minghao waves dismissively. "You know what I mean."

Mingyu does. He's been the translator for Minghao since Seungkwan and Joshua started teaching him Korean. It seems so long ago. Mingyu made the mistake of taking Minghao for a shy, cute guy when they met, and is still sometimes amazed at how comfortable Minghao has come to be in Korea. He can still be cute, Mingyu guesses. When he wants to. Usually though, he consists mostly of cynical comments and fighting to death to prove his opinion is the right one.

"It's different in your case, though," Minghao gets back on track, pulling Mingyu out of reminiscing about his perm. It was the best hairstyle ever. Soonyoung still sometimes brings it up when he's feeling exceptionally brave. "You did it because I was in pretty deep shit. So," Minghao grimaces slightly. "I owe you."

He doesn't like those words. Doesn't like having a debt in general, even if it's his best friend.

Mingyu wonders for a moment.

"Nothing weird, okay?" Minghao makes sure.

Mingyu grins at him mischievously and wiggles his eyebrows, but nods after a second. He wouldn't know what to ask for, if it was supposed be something weird, anyway. There is too much to choose from.

"Make me pancakes," Mingyu decides.

Minghao narrows his eyes, trying to gauge, if Mingyu is serious. Then, he rolls them.

"Come on, it's been like, a year!" he groans.

"Exactly," Mingyu says with feeling. "You promised to make me pancakes a year ago and you still haven't done it!"

Minghao sighs.

"When," he grits through his teeth.

"Tomorrow morning," Mingyu answers with a sweet smile.

"You want me to get up earlier just to-" Minghao starts indignantly, but stops himself. "Fine," he mutters darkly, glaring at the sheets on Mingyu's legs.

Mingyu beams at him. They're sitting too close and he wants to drop his head on Minghao's shoulder.

"Great," he says instead, curling his hand not to grab Minghao's by accident. "Pancakes are a good reward."

Minghao glances up at his face with a light frown, like Mingyu just said something interesting and rather unexpected. He gets up before Mingyu can ask.

"Move your ass, I have to clean up," he grumbles.

Mingyu forgets all about subtle changes on Minghao's face in favor of dressing up and going over to Seungcheol.

"I knew it was gonna end like this," Seungcheol sighs from above him.

Mingyu closes his eyes and focuses on the unidentified smell of Seungcheol's carpet to stop thinking about Minghao and his camera, his hands, his hair, his eyes, well, basically everything Minghao.

It doesn't work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It wasn't really on purpose," Junhui mumbles.
> 
> "An accident," Mingyu says hollowly.
> 
> "Yeah!" Junhui picks up right away. "It was an accident!"
> 
> "Excuse me," Mingyu says very slowly. "How do you accidentally sleep with someone?"

"You're a pitiful human being, Kim Mingyu," Wonwoo says, after he and Seungcheol make Mingyu get up and join them in the kitchen. "Just think about it for a second-"

"I'm thinking about it all the damn time," Mingyu interrupts with a pout.

Wonwoo looks like he wants to smack him, but stops himself once Seungcheol throws him a look.

"Would you let me fucking finish instead of wallowing in your pity for a second?" he asks with a faux pleasant smile. Mingyu nods, still pouting. "I was gonna say, think about it for a second, is it like with Soonyoung and me?"

Mingyu blinks at him, a bit taken aback because of the seriousness. He expected only teasing.

"I mean," Wonwoo sighs heavily. It's still probably not the easiest thing for him to talk about. "Is it awkward? Does he treat you differently than before? Do you still talk normally?"

And Mingyu thinks. They talk to each other, obviously, it would be hard not to when they live together, and it's about everything, just like it's been from the very beginning. There are awkward moments, but then there are also Moments™, and Minghao is the same mean, moody, caring, sarcastic Minghao he's always been.

"See?" Wonwoo says and Mingyu is surprised to find a small smile on his face. It's a bit rueful, but also warm. "You're not like us, right?" Mingyu nods in a daze. "Good. Then stop being a pussy and just do something about it."

Seungcheol snorts in amusement, turning the stove off and placing the pot with ramen on the table between them.

Mingyu lets himself for a small grin. Wonwoo pats his knee a little too hard and focuses on food. The front door opens and closes gently. Mingyu doesn't even live here, but he knows it's Jihoon.

"How did it go?" Jihoon asks, after greeting everyone.

Mingyu is such a natural occurrence in their apartment that he doesn't even bat an eyelash at his presence. Same with Wonwoo.

"It was actually pretty awesome," Mingyu admits. "Well, despite everything," he adds quickly. "Posing is fun."

Jihoon looks at him like he grew an extra head.

"Posing naked?" he says incredulously.

Mingyu shrugs.

"So he's an exhibitionist then, whatever, we don't kinkshame in this house, Jihoon-ah," Seungcheol says offhandedly and Mingyu sputters.

"No, wait, I am not a-"

"Oh my God, you so are," Wonwoo is laughing, because he likes to watch people suffer.

Mingyu pouts at all of them.

"I'm going back," he mumbles begrudgingly.

"Sure," Jihoon nods. "I'm sure you're uncomfortable, so long in clothes."

Wonwoo almost falls off the chair, cackling. Seungcheol is trying not to laugh, but he's failing spectacularly and Jihoon has a mean grin on his face. Mingyu flips them off.

"How do you think you treat your hyungs!" Seungcheol yells after him, but it's ruined by his giggling.

"Let him go, or he'll undress right here," Jihoon says and Wonwoo right out howls.

Mingyu sighs heavily and puts his shoes on.

The air is pleasantly cool and he doesn't feel like going back home just yet, so he calls Seokmin. They sit on swings at the playground next to Mingyu's apartment with ice cream, like they're back in middle school and all they have to worry about is doing well on tests and dealing with fleeting crushes.

"What does it feel like?" Seokmin asks after a long while of talking about nothing important.

Mingyu is still stuck on Jeonghan's hair length and this one meme Hansol sent them just now, so it takes him a while to understand what Seokmin is asking about. He shrugs.

"It's kind of like something is squeezing everything here," he points vaguely to his chest. "It kinda hurts, but like, in a good way?"

Seokmin nods heavily.

"Masochism."

Mingyu rolls his eyes.

"No. You know how it feels when you're in a car and there is a sudden hill and everything inside you flips? It's kind of like that sometimes, but then sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it's also frustrating and you wanna like, scratch something inside to get rid of it."

"That sounds tiring," Seokmin grimaces, trying to lick his fingers clean off the ice cream.

"It's worth it," Mingyu says slowly. "For the times everything is amazing and you're so happy you could burst or something."

Seokmin looks at him for a long time. Mingyu doesn't know what he's thinking about.

"You think... You think I'll feel it too, someday?" Seokmin asks quietly.

"You?" Mingyu snorts. "Dude, if Jihoon-hyung can feel it, then you definitely will."

Seokmin smiles a bit unsurely, but it quickly widens.

"That was a surprise, right?"

"Oh yeah," Mingyu nods excitedly. "It was this whole mess and then just bam! Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon together."

"I still can't believe it!" Seokmin exclaims. "It's crazy! It's been what, year and a half? And I still can't get used to it!"

"They're so unexpectedly good together, right?" Mingyu says, suddenly in a much better mood.

Seokmin nods enthusiastically and they spend another hour talking about Soonyoung and Jihoon, Joshua's weirdness, food, classes, what they want to do when they grow up, completely ignoring the fact that they're technically already grown-ups.

Minghao's door is shut when Mingyu gets home, which means he's probably working on his assignments, but maybe that's a good thing. At least nothing dumb and happy has the chance to slip through the cracks in Mingyu's resolve to not make it weird between them.

He lies in his bed for a long time before he falls asleep, trying to work out his mixed feelings. Finally, he decides longing is the best term for all of them. He wonders how Seokmin would deal with it, but it's pretty much pointless, since Seokmin isn't familiar with the feeling at all. Then, Mingyu's thoughts travel to Minghao behind the wall, who might be looking at Mingyu's naked pictures at this very moment. Wondering what Minghao might think is even harder than figuring out Seokmin's hypothetical feelings, though, so Mingyu gives it up. His bed seems so big all of a sudden and he wishes he had someone to cuddle with. It's one of the times it hurts.

***

"What?" Mingyu blurts out the next day, completely shocked.

He was pulled out of his bed by Junhui because of an emergency, _come on, Kim Mingyu, wake up! I need you up right now!_ and as a result Minghao got away without making the promised pancakes. Mingyu swore to himself to get them the next day when they were leaving to run to a café, because there was no coffee in the apartment, and Junhui needed caffeine desperately. So now Mingyu is trying to fix his bedhead, having difficulties with processing what Junhui just told him.

Junhui shrugs awkwardly.

"It kinda just happened?" he says.

"It kinda just happened," Mingyu repeats incredulously.

"It wasn't really on purpose," Junhui mumbles.

"An accident," Mingyu says hollowly.

"Yeah!" Junhui picks up right away. "It was an accident!"

"Excuse me," Mingyu says very slowly. "How do you accidentally sleep with someone?"

"Well, we were studying for one of the exams-" Junhui starts.

"And your pants fell off?" Mingyu finishes, still very much incredulous. "What the fuck, hyung?"

Junhui looks down at his hands bashfully. Mingyu blinks at him owlishly. Okay, so Soonyoung falling for his best friend was a shock. Jihoon getting together with him was a shock. Mingyu discovering he also has feelings for his best friend was a shock. But this? Mingyu can't comprehend this.

"Are you like, together now?" he asks, only because that seems logical.

"What? No!" Junhui protests immediately.

"I don't get it," Mingyu announces. "This doesn't make any sense. What the hell?"

Junhui sighs.

"You know him well, right?"

Mingyu does, but he has no idea how that's relevant right now.

"Could you talk to him?" Junhui pleads. "He's freaking out."

"Of course he is," Mingyu says. "It's Jeon Wonwoo. What did you expect? That he's just gonna move on with his life? He once wouldn't talk to me for two weeks because I didn't stop him from making out with someone when he was drunk. And that was a stranger. You two fucking live together!"

Junhui winces.

"I know. And it sucks, and I know it's my mess, but it's finals, Mingyu-ah. He has to focus on studying right now, but he's avoiding me, and I need someone to calm him down, because he can't fail."

Mingyu sighs long-sufferingly. He doesn't know why everyone always comes to him with this kind of problems. Maybe Minghao's right and he is a wimp.

"I'll talk to him," he promises finally, cursing at himself inwardly.

"Thank you," Junhui sags in relief, crashing him in a hug.

Mingyu stares after him for a long time after Junhui finishes his coffee and runs out of the cafe to study. The cashier is starting to throw him concerned glances after a while, so Mingyu gets himself together, takes his mocha and goes on a journey to find Jeon Wonwoo.

The safest bet would be the library, but Junhui wouldn't go there, if Wonwoo was already there, which leaves Mingyu with only a few other options. First, he tries Wonwoo's apartment, but finds only Soonyoung, who immediately bombards Mingyu with a million questions, because he's not stupid and knows when his friends avoid each other.

Mingyu looks him dead in the eye and spills everything. Soonyoung chokes on his spit.

"Why is there so much drama with you three?" Mingyu asks, patting his back.

Soonyoung is unable to answer, so Mingyu waits for him to calm down.

"He'll be at Seungcheol's," Soonyoung says once he can articulate words. "Let's go."

Wonwoo is indeed at Seungcheol's, pacing in the living room in front of an irritated Jihoon.

"It's not the end of the world, Wonu-ah," Joshua is saying, trying to pet Wonwoo's arm every time he passes by him.

The effect is a bit comical, which is fully appreciated by Jeonghan currently cackling into Jihoon's shoulder. Seungcheol stops Wonwoo when he's by the entrance to the kitchen, placing both hands on his shoulders heavily.

"Wonwoo-ah, you haven't said anything since you stormed in here and told us what happened. It's been forty minutes. Just tell me one thing okay?"

Wonwoo nods jerkily. His eyes are crazy. Mingyu sighs. He doesn't have the strength for this.

"Do you regret it?" Seungcheol asks.

Wonwoo opens his mouth like he has an answer ready, but no sound comes out. He probably didn't even think about it once before Seungcheol asked.

"Why didn't you say anything!" Soonyoung accuses.

Mingyu just goes over to them and hugs Wonwoo tightly, because Wonwoo is a weirdo and needs physical contact at the most unexpected times. He's ridiculously tense, but begins to relax after a moment, burying his face in Mingyu's neck. On the rare occasions Minghao needs cuddles, he always tells Mingyu he should start collecting money for it, which makes Mingyu too proud of himself and unnecessarily mushy inside. Seokmin simply tells Mingyu he's the best to cuddle with, which just makes him feel needed and super happy.

"No," Wonwoo says into Mingyu's skin. "I don't regret it."

Which is a bit of a surprise. Wonwoo usually regrets majority of things after he's done them.

"Awesome," Seungcheol says. He sounds tired. Mingyu wonders if it's because of his job. "Now you just have to figure out what to do with this."

Wonwoo nods and they drop it completely in favor of making a drama marathon. Jeonghan and Seungcheol always get too into dramas, and Soonyoung likes to inform people what they all witnessed a second ago, so it's maybe not the greatest idea, but at least Wonwoo is distracted.

About two episodes in, Seungcheol leaves them to go to work and Jihoon moves with Joshua over to the kitchen to chat and make tea. Wonwoo falls asleep on Mingyu's arm. Mingyu's arm falls asleep quickly, too, so Soonyoung tells him to wake Wonwoo up. Mingyu doesn't. It would feel like disturbing a cat that uses you as its pillow.

They order takeout and Wonwoo wakes up. Mingyu wiggles his arm for a good five minutes to get it to function properly.

"I should go to the library," Wonwoo says when they're done eating.

"You should go take a nap," Jeonghan grumbles. "Cramming is the worst when you're exhausted. Listen to someone who tried to get three months’ worth of info into their head in forty eight hours. Ah, good ol' times."

Wonwoo doesn't answer and Mingyu realizes it's because he doesn't want to say he's scared to go back home out loud.

"Nap in the library," Soonyoung suggests, because he's strangely observant and also knows Wonwoo like the back of his hand. "You won't have to move to study when you wake up."

"Sounds like a plan," Wonwoo mutters, getting up. He makes a weird gesture. "Thanks for... you know."

"Sure," Mingyu says easily.

He won't make it even harder on Wonwoo. Wonwoo's awkwardness does that for him already.

"You should study, too, Mingyu-ah," Joshua says after Wonwoo leaves. "You have an exam in four days, right?"

Mingyu grimaces. He prefers his friends' drama, after all.

"Fine," he mumbles.

Soonyoung leaves with him.

"I have to check up on Jun," he explains. "Something tells me he's not as okay as you saw him be in the morning."

That makes Mingyu follow Soonyoung to his apartment instead of being a good student and going back to his place to spend some time with books.

Junhui is sitting on the couch when they enter and he quickly wipes his face. His eyes are puffy and red.

"What the hell, Wen Junhui," Soonyoung sighs.

Junhui sniffles quietly and looks down, fresh tears running down his face. Mingyu's heart hurts. It's hard to see the ever optimistic Junhui so down like this. Soonyoung flops down next to him on the couch, pulling him into a tight embrace. Junhui hides in his shoulder and sobs quietly. Mingyu settles down on his other side, plastering himself against Junhui's back.

"Hyung, it's okay," he says quietly, making shushing noises and rubbing Junhui's arms soothingly. "He said he doesn't regret it, you know? You're gonna figure it out."

"H-He really- said that?" Junhui asks in between sobbing.

"Yes," Soonyoung confirms. "You just have to talk to him, you know how emotionally constipated he is."

"What do I- what do I tell him, though?" Junhui mumbles into Soonyoung's neck.

He's a bit calmer already.

"That you don't want to ruin things between you," Soonyoung shrugs a bit awkwardly. "That it would suck and just because of a hook-up, too."

Junhui nods. They stay like that for some time. Junhui falls asleep, but it's fine, because it's not on Mingyu's arm. Mingyu guesses both he and Wonwoo must have spent the night too stressed to sleep properly. Soonyoung sighs in resignation and turns the TV on. There is some variety show. It's starting to get dark out when Junhui wakes up.

"Have you even eaten anything today?" Soonyoung asks.

Junhui rubs his eyes, shaking his head sheepishly. Soonyoung bats away his hands and looks pleadingly at Mingyu. Mingyu groans, but gets up to make all of them something to eat.

Wonwoo sneaks into the apartment when Soonyoung is in the shower. It must be late, but Mingyu gave up on studying when they found Junhui crying. Wonwoo freezes when he sees them on the couch, his eyes going wide, as he stares at Junhui. Mingyu doesn't get why everyone he knows, himself included, Jeonghan and Seokmin excluded, is so awkward when it comes to talking about feelings and dealing with conflicts. He gently pushes Junhui to make him do something, but it's like gently pushing a wall. To his surprise, though, Wonwoo finally speaks.

"Mingyu-ah, could you give us a minute?"

So Mingyu gets up quickly, untangles Junhui's fingers clenched in his shirt and disappears in the kitchen, because he might as well wash the dishes, since he doesn't want to leave. He can hear Junhui and Wonwoo talking, quiet, unintelligible murmurs, and then Junhui is crying again. Mingyu peeks into the living room, but it seems to be relieved crying, with Wonwoo crouching in front of him and stroking his hair. Mingyu would have never expected Wonwoo to be the hair stroking type.

"The fuck," Soonyoung says after he leaves the bathroom. Mingyu looks up at him from his phone. "When did this happen?" Soonyoung points at Wonwoo and Junhui sleeping on each other on the couch.

"You take really long showers," Mingyu says only, grinning just a bit.

He goes back home in an incredibly happy mood.

"What's up?" Minghao asks, chewing microwaved leftovers.

"You missed all the drama," Mingyu says, taking his plate and throwing the food away.

Those leftovers were from three days ago.

"Hey!" Minghao protests, but Mingyu just raises an eyebrow and takes out eggs. "What drama?" Minghao asks, after he realizes Mingyu wants to feed him properly.

"Wonwoo-hyung and Junnie-hyung hooked up," Mingyu explains. "It was a very tiring day."

"Huh," Minghao says. "So they finally did it."

Mingyu turns to him in surprise. Minghao shrugs.

"They're stressed and haven't gotten laid in seventy four years, of course it would end up being like this."

Mingyu turns back to the stove, humming thoughtfully.

"You think they'll end up together?"

"Nah," Minghao leans against the counter next to Mingyu, hip pressed to Mingyu's thigh, and Mingyu suddenly doesn't know what they were talking about. "Not now, anyway. It was just an outlet, if you ask me."

Mingyu nods dumbly, trying to focus on the food in front of him, not on his very fresh memories about being naked with Minghao next to him like this.

"Here," he says finally, putting everything on the table.

"Thanks," Minghao sits down and Mingyu is suddenly cold. "You're not eating?"

"Ate already," Mingyu mumbles. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

He thinks it's going to be another difficult night, but falls asleep as soon as he hits his bed. Maybe the day has been more tiring than he thought

***

It's Saturday night and Mingyu would really want to spend it in any different way than studying, so he calls the whole squad. He's sick of sitting over books anyway, and it's no fun cramming alone when there is no Seokmin to tease. They only spent two hours together today and then Seokmin had to run because of an emergency at work. Mingyu has already baked cupcakes out of boredom and made two salads. He hasn't seen Minghao the whole day, except for lunch. He looked tired and frustrated, so Mingyu didn't want to bother him more than having a chat during eating.

Thankfully or not, everyone is more or less free and starving, which leaves Mingyu to make them food. Food for thirteen people is a bit much, though, and Mingyu uses that as an excuse to bother Minghao, after all.

He knocks on Minghao's door and doesn't wait for an answer before peeking in.

"Hey, can you-" and he stops short, not sure what he wanted to say anymore, because Minghao is sitting on his bed casually, his dark clothes contrasting sharply with the white covers Mingyu thought he'd never see again.

"You didn't change the sheets," he says, stunned.

Minghao glances down at his bed with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, so?"

"But I was-" Mingyu starts and cuts himself off.

 _Naked in them_ , he finishes inwardly.

Minghao looks up at him and shrugs.

"It's not like you had sex on them," he says, absolutely nonchalant and unaffected in a way Mingyu hates. "There's not gonna be like, body fluids on them or something, why would I change perfectly good sheets?"

Mingyu stares at him in shock. Minghao adds something in Mandarin, muttered under his breath. Mingyu decides not to ask what it was, because he's maybe just a little afraid. Minghao frowns slightly.

"I said something weird?" he asks, not completely confident in the language yet, despite everything.

"No," Mingyu wheezes out. "No, it was just, uh, very blunt."

Minghao's frown smooths out into a flat look.

"You say that like you don't know me."

And he's right. Minghao is perfectly himself, just like always, it's only Mingyu who's become this weird version that gets surprised at sex remarks.

"Did you actually want something?" Minghao asks, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Are you very busy?"

Minghao purses his lips.

"Depends on what you want," he says with a shit eating grin.

"Fucker," Mingyu tells him with a sweet smile. "The guys are coming by, I wanted you to help me with dinner."

"Again?" Minghao groans. "Why are you so weak and get roped into making dinner for thirteen people so damn often?"

Mingyu shrugs sheepishly. It's because he's bored, but also because of his Weird Protective Instincts™. He's sure Hansol and Chan survive solely on ramen, and not even the good kind. Seungkwan is too much of a manipulative son of a bitch not to invite himself over to Seungcheol's or Joshua's place for dinner regularly, but Wonwoo and Soonyoung can't cook for shit and providing for themselves also seems like too difficult of a task. That's why Mingyu just likes to make sure once in a while that they all eat a nice, nutritious meal. And if it happens to be on a day Mingyu wants to escape from studying, well, sue him.

"Fine," Minghao grumbles, putting away his laptop and getting up from the bed.

"Awesome!" Mingyu grins, making himself turn away from Minghao's white sheets.

He doesn't have to tell Minghao what to do, because they've done this often enough, and Minghao is always responsible for the same stuff.

"Are you done with your projects?" Mingyu asks, distracted by multiple pots on the stove in front of him.

"Almost," Minghao says, focused on cutting the vegetables Mingyu passed him. "I'm in the middle of editing your pictures."

"Oh," Mingyu says, after almost spilling boiling water on himself.

Minghao throws him a pitiful glance.

"Wanna see them?" he asks.

"Now?" Mingyu panics.

"No, genius," Minghao rolls his eyes. "After I'm done. It turned out pretty well so far. You can see other stuff now, though."

"Oh! Who was in other stuff? Do I know anyone?" Mingyu asks curiously, forgetting for a moment about Minghao editing his naked pictures.

"Junhui," Minghao says after a second of cutting carrots in thought. "And Wonwoo," he adds. "I needed two guys for a soft shoot. Huh," he glances at Mingyu with a small smile. "I guess there was something there then. Maybe it's not just hooking up."

"Really?!" Mingyu exclaims excitedly. "I wanna see! They could get together, right? I mean, Wonwoo-hyung is scared of feelings, but it could be good for him to do something about himself."

"Well, even if they don't get together, hooking up regularly would probably save them both some stress," Minghao shrugs with a grin.

"Who else did you photograph?" Mingyu asks, focusing back on the food he's making.

"A chick from Yugyeom's calculus class, Jihyo," Minghao says.

"What did you do with her?" Mingyu tries for casual, but he can't help the tiny pang of jealousy.

"She fitted the cute concept I wanted," Minghao explains, glancing at him with a slight frown. "It's a bit..." he makes a wide gesture.

"Exaggerated?" Mingyu supplies.

"Exaggerated," Minghao nods. "You'll see."

"Okay," Mingyu agrees, forcing himself to not be weird.

It's not the first time Minghao has worked with someone other than their closest friends, but maybe Mingyu has become a lot worse from the last time. Minghao doesn't make it easier on him either, what with him being pansexual and too hot for his own good. The only thing that consoles Mingyu even a bit is the fact Minghao doesn't like people by definition. He has to get used to someone to decide, if he likes them.

"What else should I do?" Minghao asks after he's done with the vegetables.

He's staring. Mingyu resolutely doesn't look at him.

"This is fine," he says quickly. "Thanks."

"Sure," Minghao says and Mingyu thinks that's it, but after a loaded pause, Minghao continues. "You gonna answer my question now?"

Mingyu frowns in confusion, glancing at him finally, which is a terrible move, because Minghao is too close.

"What question?" he asks anyway.

Minghao sighs like he can't believe what kind of bullshit he has to deal with.

"The question about seeing the pictures."

Mingyu is most probably projecting, but he can hear the tiniest bit of anticipation in Minghao's voice. It might just be about showing his work, though, Mingyu tells himself. Anyone would want to show off, if they did as cool stuff as Minghao does.

"I'll see them," Mingyu says. "When you're done."

Minghao holds his gaze, eyes sharp, and opens his mouth, but that's the moment Soonyoung lets himself into their apartment, yelling loudly his greeting. Minghao slips away. Mingyu wishes he didn't do it so often. Maybe Mingyu should stop getting himself into situations that allow Minghao for that in the first place.

Wonwoo and Junhui are quiet and careful with each other, but it's not bad. Jeonghan is the first to tease them, and they both react like they usually do, a bit of indignant squawking and attacking back. Their faces are just slightly pinker than usual.

Seungcheol is tired and spends half of the evening laughing, and half nodding off on Seokmin's shoulder. Chan barely manages to talk, because he's so busy eating, and Mingyu is pleased that his food is received so well. Joshua and Soonyoung compliment his cooking so much, Mingyu is blushing more than Wonwoo and Junhui. Jihoon sits next to his boyfriend quietly and mostly nudges Seungcheol on his other side when he's close to falling off of his chair. Minghao is sitting next to Mingyu, talking to Junhui in hushed Cantonese. Judging by Junhui's face, he's asking about all the details of his adventures with Wonwoo.

Seungkwan is telling them about a TV show he watched recently, all loud voice and wide gestures. Hansol tries to stuff his face without getting hit in the head, smoothly dodging Seungkwan's flying limbs. Mingyu watches them all eat, gets loud himself when someone tries to tease him, and enjoys the presence of all of his friends in one place.

They all somehow fit around the living room table and Minghao's knee is pressed against his thigh. Mingyu wants this kind of evenings to happen more often, but he knows it's impossible. Everyone has their own life to take care of, after all.

Soonyoung and Junhui leave last, the first one because he's too lazy and wouldn't know subtlety, if it bit him in the ass, the second one because Minghao holds him back to talk some more. It's too quiet after Mingyu is left alone with Minghao, too empty, even though their apartment only has three rooms.

Minghao turns around from their front door after it closes behind Junhui and Soonyoung, and his eyes are too full. Mingyu's heart clenches without any logical reason. Minghao doesn't say anything, he goes over to Mingyu and grabs his hand, pulling him towards his room. Mingyu feels exhausted with the way his insides flip.

Minghao settles on his bed, pressed to Mingyu's entire side. Mingyu's skin tingles.

"That's the two morons," Minghao announces, opening a folder to show Mingyu pictures of Wonwoo and Junhui.

They're all very soft, in pastel colors and with gentle smiles. Mingyu would never expect Wonwoo to wear a pink fluffy sweater, but here he is. There is certainly something in the way they're looking at each other, with Junhui's hands delicate in Wonwoo's hair, with Wonwoo's smile hidden in Junhui's neck, surrounded by pillows and Joshua's cats, warm despite the rain visible on the window. Mingyu aches as he's looking at them.

"Pretty," he says quietly.

Minghao flinches slightly, a barely-there movement that still surprises Mingyu because of how close they are.

"They were a good choice, right?" Minghao asks, clearing his throat.

Mingyu glances at him, but doesn't know what's wrong, he's just sure something is.

"Yeah," he agrees slowly. "You take really pretty pictures."

Minghao snaps up his head to look at him and Mingyu is trying to understand, but he can't. Minghao bites down on his lip, turning back to the laptop and murmuring a thanks in Mandarin. Mingyu frowns. Minghao never speaks Mandarin to him unless he's pissed or flustered. He's already opening his mouth to ask, his heart flattering madly, but Minghao closes the folder and opens another one.

"This is Jihyo," he says.

Mingyu feels like something very important just slipped right through his fingers.

Jihyo is pretty. Not as pretty as Minghao's pictures, and definitely not as pretty as Minghao himself, but Mingyu is still fascinated with her small face and big eyes. Her make-up is bright and she looks much younger than their age, but maybe that was the point. She's surrounded by toys in the pictures, a half empty pizza box in front of her, colorful socks on her feet and yellow dungarees on her legs. It's cute and has a child-like feel to it.

"We spent two days on this one," Minghao says. "And then I was editing it for two weeks. It was hard to get the vibe I wanted."

"This is amazing," Mingyu says sincerely. "I could never do something like this."

Minghao shrugs.

"You haven't tried. And you're usually good at anything you do," he points out. Mingyu is ready to feel awkward with this sudden compliment, but Minghao isn't done. "Anything except keeping things you're holding in your hands, I mean."

Mingyu pouts.

"I'm not that clumsy," he mumbles begrudgingly.

Minghao raises his eyebrows incredulously.

"You're trying to sell that to me? I live with you."

"Shut up," Mingyu nudges him, albeit very gently. "It's not like you're all perfect, either!"

Minghao snorts.

"Oh please, have you seen me? And I don't trip over my own feet."

"Careful or you'll trip over your ego," Mingyu bites quickly.

"My ego is fine," Minghao grins. "I'm an artist."

Mingyu scoffs.

"You just can't bear to lose an argument with me, can you," he grumbles.

Minghao just nudges him back. They sit in silence for a minute.

"I should go back to studying," Mingyu says after a moment.

"You've been studying since five in the morning," Minghao remarks quietly.

Mingyu yawns. Okay, he might be a bit tired.

"I couldn't do anything yesterday because of the drama," he says reluctantly.

"You still have three days," Minghao reasons and it's almost like he wants Mingyu to stay with him on his bed just a little bit longer.

"You evil person, why do you weaken my already weak resolve?" Mingyu groans.

Minghao is smiling, a small, soft stretch of his mouth, even as his eyes shine with mischief. Mingyu loves that expression. He'd like to kiss it.

"Okay, no," he says decisively. "But I'm gonna go shower first."

He stands too long under the warm water, thinking about Minghao's expressive eyes. He feels warm from the inside, too, like that time he had to wait around for Minghao to finally open the door for him in the middle of winter, freezing his ass off in front of their building, because he forgot his keys and Minghao was sleeping; but then Minghao made him cocoa and let him lie down on his lap, and even played with his hair. It was an awesome evening, soft, filled with bickering and gentle hands. The only thing that's different is how his heart clenches even now, too full, almost tipping over to the side.

He contemplates opening his books for a long few minutes, but he's so tired. With everything. And so, he turns off the lights, setting an alarm for an ungodly morning hour.

His bed is cold, which should be nice after a relatively hot day spent cooped up inside over books, but Mingyu finds himself shivering. He can hear the bathroom door click open and then close, can hear the shower running, and then he must doze off, because the next thing he registers is Minghao standing over him in the dark.

"Move," Minghao says.

Mingyu blinks at him, dumbfounded, but scoots over to the side to make space without thinking. Minghao slips under the covers, cold feet pressing instantly against Mingyu's shins. Mingyu hisses, but folds to fit him like it's his second nature.

"I knew you're not gonna study," Minghao grins.

Mingyu tweaks his nose, satisfied with the small yelp Minghao lets out.

"I'll study in the morning," he mutters, his voice hoarse from almost falling asleep.

Minghao hums, playing absently with the collar of Mingyu's shirt. Mingyu melts.

"You good?" he murmurs.

Minghao looks up at him, his face barely visible in the dark, but his eyes shining like always. He frowns slightly, sets his jaw.

"Not sure," he says finally, clears his throat. "I must be stressed."

"Why?" Mingyu asks, his stomach turning unpleasantly.

Minghao never really notices he's stressed until it manifests itself in some serious health problems. Mingyu remembers the time barely a year after they met when Minghao would throw up all food he ate for almost two weeks. They'd still lived together with Seungcheol, Joshua, Jihoon and Junhui then. Everyone was so concerned, they completely neglected their own problems. Seungcheol almost failed the semester. It was awful.

"I got blood all over your bathroom carpet," Minghao admits. "Sorry."

Mingyu tells himself not to panic, but he's instantly covered by cold sweat.

"Blood from where?" he asks very slowly, his heart beating like crazy.

"Nose," Minghao says. "I'm fine now, though," he adds quickly. "And I soaked it in cold water."

"I don't care about my bathroom carpet, Hao," Mingyu says, too quickly and too loudly. Minghao flinches just like before, a tiny movement that almost crashes Mingyu with quilt. "You need to rest," he adds gently. "You're overworking yourself, it shouldn't look like this."

"Deadline's-" Minghao starts.

"Doesn't matter," Mingyu cuts him off. "You'll make it. You always do. But not like this, not sacrificing your health! Okay?"

Minghao looks at him for a long minute.

"Okay," he agrees very quietly.

Mingyu sighs in relief. For a second there he was sure Minghao coughs blood.

"How many times?" he asks.

Minghao purses his lips.

"Four," he mutters.

"Since when?"

"Three weeks," Minghao admits reluctantly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you have your own shit to take care of," Minghao says, his voice strong like he's challenging Mingyu to fight him on this. "You're not my babysitter."

"No," Mingyu nods, his chest flaring abruptly, and he's not even sure with what. "I'm your best friend."

Minghao stares at him for another few tense seconds and then averts his gaze. Mingyu suddenly feels tired again. He sags, fitting more comfortably on the bed, and opens his arms. Minghao snuggles closer after a moment of hesitation, hands clenching in Mingyu's shirt, his breath warm and damp on Mingyu's skin.

"Tell me things," Mingyu whispers into his hair.

It's hard to get air into his lungs, his chest constricted painfully.

Minghao nods and doesn't promise anything, but maybe it's enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just don't stay up until you start bleeding on something," Minghao advices. "Your notes can go to shit."
> 
> "Thanks," Mingyu quips. "That's very helpful."
> 
> Minghao stands up.
> 
> "I know," he says, grin in his voice. "I'm so supportive."
> 
> Mingyu wants to bite back, he really does, but Minghao runs a hand through his hair, a gentle, probably absentminded touch that shuts Mingyu up effectively.
> 
> "Get Seokmin on the couch," Minghao says. "Goodnight."
> 
> Mingyu forgets to answer, too busy with the way his head is tingling.

Mingyu is so busy for the next two weeks, he completely forgets about the pictures of him that Minghao was supposed to show him. It's all just books, exams, making sure Minghao doesn't starve himself, making sure Minghao doesn't bleed out from stress alone, and keeping Seokmin from going crazy in between all of it.

Mingyu doesn't even know what's going on with his other friends. He has no idea how Junhui and Wonwoo are dealing with life and with each other, or if Jeonghan and Joshua are as happy as they were when Mingyu last saw them, or if Hansol didn't die from eating too much ramen yet. Soonyoung is the only one who comes by during those two weeks, except for Seokmin, who almost lives there now. At least, Mingyu has spoken to his mother and she went on a two hour rant about him and his life choices, about his sister, their father, how is the situation at home and probably everything else humanly imaginable, so Mingyu doesn't have to be worried about his family.

He's sitting on the floor with books and Seokmin strewn around him, trying to get all about family and custody law into his head, when Soonyoung lets himself inside.

"What's up, kids!" he greets loudly.

Mingyu, in the middle of wondering why he even wanted to become a teacher in the first place, doesn't really appreciate it.

"We're a year younger than you," says Seokmin from his place on the floor with his face towards the couch.

"It's not the best time, huh," Soonyoung guesses, which absolutely doesn't mean he's going to leave them alone.

"It's the last exam, hyung," Mingyu says under his breath.

"Yeah," Soonyoung says. "I can see that, you look like death."

"What do you want, hyung?" Seokmin wails pathetically.

"I was bored," Soonyoung shrugs, sitting down next to Mingyu and flipping through one of his textbooks. "And kinda tired of Wonwoo and Jun. They have this weird tension going on."

"They're not fighting, though, right?" Seokmin asks in concern, finally getting up.

"Not really," Soonyoung grimaces. "It's just weird. Anyway, what is this bullshit?" he asks pointing at the book in his lap.

"We have to be familiar with the family law, if we want to be teachers," Seokmin explains, lying back down.

Soonyoung makes a sympathetic noise.

"That sucks."

"Are you done with everything?" Mingyu asks, because maybe it's time for a break.

He won't be able to focus with Soonyoung there anyway.

"Yeah," Soonyoung says easily.

Seokmin hisses at him like Soonyoung just stepped on his tail.

"Seokmin-ah, when was the last time you ate something?" Mingyu asks, unfazed.

Seokmin slumps back down.

"I don't know," he mumbles.

Mingyu sighs.

"Just go find yourself a snack. Hyung, try not to rile him up."

"I just said I'm finished, though?" Soonyoung defends himself weakly.

"Well, some of us aren't," Seokmin mutters darkly, going off to the kitchen.

Soonyoung looks seriously spooked by his behavior.

"Don't mind it, he's been like this for a week now," Mingyu mumbles distractedly, trying to sort through the books he does and doesn't need anymore. "In between crying and staring at a wall for indefinite periods of time."

"O...kay," Soonyoung says carefully. "And this is the last one?"

"Yup," Mingyu confirms.

There is definitely less books he needs than the ones he doesn't, but there is still a pile of notes to go through before the next day.

"And it's tomorrow?" Soonyoung asks.

"Yup," Mingyu says again.

"Oh thank God," Soonyoung sighs in relief. "Seokminie looks like he needs a solid break and probably a lot of cuddling."

"What I need," Seokmin says from the kitchen. "Is to pass."

Soonyoung doesn't even reply, looking at Mingyu like he's scared of being hissed at again.

"What about Minghao?" he asks instead.

Mingyu shrugs.

"Haven't seen him the last two days."

Soonyoung's eyes widen.

"But aren't you like, in love with him?"

Mingyu grimaces, as his insides turn nauseatingly. He doesn't like to use that term, it only makes everything harder.

"Doesn't mean I have to know what he's doing all the time. He has his own life."

"Huh," Soonyoung mumbles to himself.

"Do you know where Jihoon-hyung is all the time?" Seokmin reemerges from the kitchen with a sandwich and a red bull.

Soonyoung shrugs.

"Yeah. He's pretty much always in the same place."

"Wow," Seokmin comments. "It was probably impossible from the very start for you two not to end up together at some point. He's like, an ideal partner for you."

"I could use more cuddling, though," Soonyoung mutters dejectedly.

"Poor you, really, hyung, must be so hard," Seokmin rolls his eyes.

Soonyoung glances at Mingyu pleadingly.

"Fix him," he whimpers.

Mingyu just grins tiredly.

Soonyoung leaves not long after that, satisfied once he gets someone to entertain him for a while and some food. Mingyu has to stop being a sucker for everyone who compliments his cooking, because providing for all of his friends is fucking exhausting. Seokmin gets back to his place on the floor, but he looks a bit more like himself after eating and getting a long, nice hug from Soonyoung.

It's about two in the morning, when Minghao gets back.

"Dinner in the fridge," Mingyu says, going over the same sentence for the eleventh time.

Seokmin is snoring quietly, using his thigh as a pillow. Minghao doesn't move for a moment, silent. Mingyu looks up at him finally, but Minghao chooses that second to go and search for food.

Mingyu blanks out for a minute or two, wondering, if it's already the time for pug videos, and then Minghao sits on the floor next to him, a plate in hand.

"You should go to sleep," he says softly in between bites.

He doesn't seem to understand how bad Mingyu wants to do just that.

"Can't," Mingyu sighs. "I haven't read through this yet," he points at the two notebooks lying next to Seokmin's feet.

"Just don't stay up until you start bleeding on something," Minghao advices. "Your notes can go to shit."

"Thanks," Mingyu quips. "That's very helpful."

Minghao stands up.

"I know," he says, grin in his voice. "I'm so supportive."

Mingyu wants to bite back, he really does, but Minghao runs a hand through his hair, a gentle, probably absentminded touch that shuts Mingyu up effectively.

"Get Seokmin on the couch," Minghao says. "Goodnight."

Mingyu forgets to answer, too busy with the way his head is tingling.

***

The sun is shining, the sky is clear, birds are singing, the world is a beautiful place and everything is awesome, Mingyu thinks tiredly, as he exits their building with Seokmin draped over his shoulders. It doesn't matter that he had to throw up his breakfast, doesn't matter that Seokmin almost passed out, doesn't matter what they actually wrote on that goddamn test, because it's all over now.

"I wanna sleep for three years now, thanks," Seokmin mumbles, barely able to walk.

Thankfully, his roommate is apparently the best guy on the planet, because he's waiting on a bench in front of the main door and takes Seokmin over from Mingyu as soon as they approach him.

"I'll get him back to the dorm in one piece, don't worry," he tells Mingyu.

"Jaehyun-ah, I love you," Seokmin wails dramatically.

Mingyu smiles at them both and wonders where is his roommate in these daring times. It's about two in the afternoon, which means Seungcheol is at work, and Mingyu wants food, since it's been six hours from his failed breakfast. He doesn't have the strength to make anything, so he mentally scans his list of friends to find someone who can cook. Pulling out his phone from the pocket is more difficult than it seems.

"Hello?" Joshua greets, his gentle voice instantly soothing Mingyu's nerves.

"I," Mingyu starts, but gives up. "Food."

Joshua laughs, also very soothingly.

"Come over."

Mingyu trudges slowly to his and Jeonghan's apartment. Joshua gets him a nice, American style lunch and pats his hair, as he tells him what new, ridiculous hobby Jeonghan has picked up.

"Cans?" Mingyu mumbles with his mouth full. "Like, soda cans. Seriously?"

Joshua shrugs with a small grin.

"He's bored," he explains. "You can only watch so many dramas."

"Why do I hear you talking shit about me every time someone comes by," Jeonghan drawls, emerging from the bedroom with eyes still half closed.

"Isn't it enough I talk pretty about you when we're alone?" Joshua asks, his smile widening.

Mingyu pretends to gag. Jeonghan snorts.

"Why are you even here, Kim Mingyu?" he asks, his hand finding Joshua's shoulder on autopilot on his way to the kettle.

"Don't be rude," Joshua clucks his tongue, leaning into Jeonghan's space like it's his second nature. It probably is. "The kid wanted some food after being a good student and finishing all his exams."

"Oh, you're done?" Jeonghan asks with sudden interest. "How did you do? Was it hard? Did you study properly? Want a coffee? Shua didn't even offer, did he. Seriously, you should have told me you have the last exam today, I would've taken you shopping or something."

Mingyu can't help but smile, his chest swelling with affection. While Seungcheol usually takes the role of their dad, tired with life, but always supportive, Jeonghan and Joshua are something of emergency parents. They're busy with their own life, Joshua working happily from home, Jeonghan currently looking for a job, but they're always there when their friends need them. Mingyu goes to them when he doesn't feel like bothering neither Seungcheol nor his mother, but still wants a reassurance he's dealing pretty well with what's going on.

"Don't stress him out even more with a million questions," Joshua tells Jeonghan.

"But he doesn't tell us anything, how am I supposed to know what's going on?" Jeonghan protests, sitting next to them by the table with his coffee.

"Uh," Mingyu cuts in intelligently, his brain still half stuck on the billion definitions he had to remember. "Thanks, mom, dad. It was hell."

"Yeah, I can see that," Jeonghan comments, giving him a pointed once-over, even though he doesn't look the best himself.

Joshua nudges his side and gets a glare for his efforts.

"Be nice, honey," he says sweetly and it's not meant for Mingyu, but he still swoons just a little.

He might have had a bit of a crush on both of them at some point in his life.

Jeonghan swoons, too, but it's a lot more discreet. He doesn't like showing anyone his weak side.

Mingyu thinks the endearment was meant to be based on Jeonghan's name once, but it doesn't seem to matter now, because Joshua pronounces it in the pretty, American way of his, and Jeonghan never stood a chance.

"Why do _you_ look like shit?" Mingyu asks Jeonghan.

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at him and Mingyu is about to take it back, because it's better not to mess with a pissed Jeonghan, but he actually gets an answer.

"I had two job interviews in the morning."

"And he was too nervous to sleep," Joshua supplies with a shit eating grin.

"Shut up," Jeonghan hisses, but then sighs like all energy left him. "Sometimes, I wish I could go back to surviving solely on coffee, red bull and spite. Good times."

Mingyu doesn't think so, but he doesn't deem it safe enough to actually share his opinion.

"You need anything else?" Joshua asks.

Mingyu shakes his head, finishing the food and sighing in content.

"Thank you, guys," he says sincerely.

"No problem," they answer at the same time, and if not for the fact that they're together, they could pass for weird, slightly evil twins.

Mingyu spends another few hours chatting with them and nodding off on the couch for a while, and Jeonghan shows him his collection of cans, before Joshua asks, "Aren't you gonna be late, though?"

Mingyu blinks at him in confusion.

"I'm supposed to be somewhere?"

Joshua and Jeonghan both freeze, staring at him in shock. Then, they slowly look at each other.

"What?" Mingyu asks quickly. "What's going on?"

Joshua shakes his head slightly, but Jeonghan's gaze hardens. Mingyu's stomach turns, unease prickling under his skin.

"Jeonghan-ah," Joshua warns quietly.

"Nope," Jeonghan says, for some reason pissed. "That's just too fucking much, I can't keep my mouth shut."

"About what?" Mingyu exclaims, because he's seriously starting to freak out over here.

Jeonghan looks at him with so much force, he almost loses balance.

"Xu Minghao had his pictures chosen for an art exhibition, you still have about half an hour to get there," he says very coldly.

Mingyu feels like a hole just opened in his stomach.

"What? But he-" he blurts out and has to swallow to continue, his throat suddenly dry. "He didn't tell me anything, why-"

"Go and ask him," Jeonghan interrupts. "Because I can understand a lot, but this is just bullshit. He told everyone. We're not going, because Shua has some stuff to take care of for work, but the others are, I talked to Soonyoung. So just go and ask him what the hell is wrong with him."

Mingyu can't really comprehend what's going on, because this just lacks logic. He turns to Joshua, but Joshua just sighs, his eyebrows drawn together, which means he's angry, too.

Mingyu moves.

"Thanks," he says quickly, putting on his shoes.

"Sure, kid," Jeonghan waves after him. "Let me know how it went!"

Mingyu was tired, the sleepy, comfortable atmosphere of Joshua and Jeonghan's place effectively mellowing him out, but now it's nothing more than a memory, all kinds of fiery emotions raging in his chest. He can't even name most of them, but knows what's the strongest. Sense of betrayal.

He's late for the opening, but it doesn't really matter, because it's in their school, so they let him in without any problems. He's fully prepared to find Minghao right away and ask him what the hell was he thinking, but gets distracted by the pictures. The hall used for the exhibition is one of the biggest rooms in the art building, and the photographs take up all the space on high walls. They're huge. They don't look like pictures at all, actually. More like paintings. Mingyu loses his breath just a little, staring at each one on his way.

There are a lot taken of people, but gorgeous landscapes are there as well. Mingyu also finds very artistic ones of everyday objects and some of buildings. It's amazing that someone who can show normal things in such a beautiful way even exists. Mingyu walks slowly, too mesmerized to keep feeling angry and betrayed. And suddenly, his heart trips over itself, picking up speed all on its own, and it's ridiculous, but he spots Minghao's pictures.

They're not even the ones of him; it's Jihyo, but in a bigger scale the shoot looks absolutely incredible. He pauses in front of the two pictures that were picked out and just stares, amazed.

"Mingu!"

A hand meets his shoulder and Mingyu startles, turning around. It's Hansol with a huge grin on his face, Seungkwan at his side, who waves at Mingyu with a matching expression.

"We thought you couldn't make it, since you didn't show up for the opening," Seungkwan says and all the burning is back in Mingyu's chest.

Hansol doesn't pick up on it, though, because he can be dense sometimes, unlike Seungkwan, who frowns immediately.

"You haven't seen the ones with Wonwoo-hyung and Jun-hyung yet, right?" Hansol asks excitedly. "They're awesome, I don't think it's about just hooking up at all."

Seungkwan is looking at Mingyu with concern now and Mingyu clears his throat, searching for a reply.

"Yeah, I bet they're amazing, I'll see them in a bit."

At that even Hansol frowns, but Seungkwan is quick to pull at his arm.

"I think that can wait," he says with a faux casual smile, probably so that Hansol doesn't ask what's going on right away. "You should see yours first."

There is something in Seungkwan's eyes that tells Mingyu he knows exactly what's happening in Mingyu's heart right now, and he doesn't answer, but it seems he doesn't have to.

"Oh yeah!" Hansol nods with renewed enthusiasm. "Those are something else!"

Mingyu's skin is prickling with unease again, but Seungkwan nods at him encouragingly and drags Hansol away, brushing off his confused inquiries.

Mingyu takes a deep breath and makes a step. A group of girls almost bumps into him, but they omit him swiftly, giggling between themselves. Mingyu doesn't want to know, if it's because of his face that usually gets people to react like this, because of his rather disheveled getup, or because he must look very weird right now. He doesn't care. The steps are easier the more he takes, and then he's walking at a fast pace again, trying not to collide with anyone, as he scans the walls.

He stops short when he finds himself, heart hammering in his chest, overwhelmed like something heavy just landed on his head.

The photographs are black and white, and gigantic. Mingyu looks at the slightly smaller ones first, barely recognizes his own back on their old couch. Just like Minghao said, it's not porn. It's all sensual and soft, and Mingyu doesn't believe it's him. There are quite a few of them, one where he pours water into a cup, his navel looking strangely pretty in the sunlight. It's only up to his chest. There is one where he's sitting behind the table, the picture cut down to his neck, his hand big on the cup placed on the wooden surface. There is one of the entire side of his torso against the mirror, not much except for his nipple visible. A bigger one is of the sun resting on his shoulders in the open window, this one up to his lips and just low enough to show the muscles on his hips he's pretty proud of. Another three on the bed. One with his neck stretched out, sheets pooling around his legs, his chest almost glowing in the daylight. This one catches the breath in his throat, even though he's looking at himself. Another one as he reaches down to the floor, his back long and broad, the covers almost low enough to show his ass, but not to the point of being explicit. And the third one with his head caught in the white shirt, arms raised in the process of taking it off.

And then Mingyu finally lets himself look at the biggest picture, his insides on fire, because it's the one he didn't pose for, the one Minghao must have snapped on impulse, the one where he's grinning, the shirt already in his lap, his hair a mess, the sun jumping on his bare skin. Mingyu doesn't know what he feels when he's looking at it. There is a sense of strange detachment, because that can't be him, no way, he doesn't look like this, isn't beautiful like this. He knows he should be pissed, the anger still very much there, but pushed away for now. Something inside him hurts, but in the best way, deeply and profoundly, and he wants to claw at his chest.

A voice reaches him suddenly and he snaps out of it, turning to the side. There is a woman dressed in very over the top clothes, and she must have been talking to him for a while already.

"Are you the model?" she asks, probably for the second or third time.

Mingyu can't really afford a conversation right now, but his fried brain tells him it might be Minghao's professor, and he should answer her, right? He opens his mouth, but then a hand closes on his arm and pulls, and he's too surprised to resist.

"Excuse us!" Minghao yells back to the woman, dragging Mingyu after himself through the hall.

She shouts his name, but Minghao doesn't stop and Mingyu can't control his legs. They're outside before he knows it. Minghao lets go of him to make them face each other and Mingyu's anger is back with full force.

"What the fuck, Xu Minghao?" he hisses.

His head is swimming and he's not sure, if it's because he hasn't really slept properly in two weeks, or because he's so pissed.

Minghao's eyes are wide and he looks slightly panicked. Mingyu doesn't usually call him by his full name.

"Sorry," he says quickly, his accent floating wildly. "I know I promised I wouldn't show your face-"

Mingyu can't believe this.

"You think I'm angry about that?!" he cuts him off incredulously.

Minghao seems confused, but he has trouble finding anything to answer with. It's still hard for him to speak Korean when he's flustered. What gets out of his mouth is a jumbled mess of Korean and Mandarin and Mingyu doesn't understand.

"Sure, I was shocked that you showed my face, but I don't really care about that!" Mingyu raises his voice and Minghao flinches just slightly, and for some reason it irritates Mingyu even more.

"Then why-" Minghao tries, but doesn't know how to finish the sentence.

He doesn't need to, though. Mingyu is his translator after all, isn't he?

"Because I'm your best friend and you didn't even tell me your pictures would be at an exhibition so that I could come and support you like a best friend fucking should."

He's aware that his voice is low and freezing now, and that it has a much bigger effect on Minghao than yelling. Minghao can deal with anyone shouting in his face, but Mingyu being cold to him and cursing is not something he's used to. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Mingyu would probably feel bad by now, but he's exhausted and this is just not fair. All of it. He hates that Minghao has so much control over his feelings, hates how his heart clenches as soon as he sees Minghao's distressed expression.

He sets his jaw, though, determined to show Minghao that this is serious, that he's hurt and disappointed, and won't let it go just like that. He knows Minghao well enough that his way of thinking isn't shocking; of course Minghao didn't want to tell him, if he thought Mingyu would be angry at him for breaking the promise. What's really shocking is how much it hurts to be ignored like this.

Minghao reaches for him slowly, his gaze pleading now, but Mingyu moves away, shaking his head.

"Mingyu-ah," Minghao says, voice tilting like it always does when he feels helpless or concerned, or just bad.

The back door they ran out through opens and they both glance at the girl that shows up in them.

"Sorry," she says, a little awkwardly. "Professor told me to find you."

Mingyu refuses to look at Minghao. He only hears his quiet sigh and then he's alone at the back of the art building. He wants to scream, but he's tired, and so, he just slumps down on the ground, thumping his head against the wall.

That's how Seungkwan finds him who knows how much later, tears of frustration staining his face. Seungkwan crouches down in front of him, wiping his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Come on, up," he says quietly, pulling Mingyu to his feet.

"You found him?"

It's Wonwoo and that somehow makes everything even worse, because if Wonwoo's here, it means he was invited to see his own pictures, while Mingyu was absolutely and completely ignored. Wonwoo's face turns to alarmed as soon as his gaze lands on Mingyu.

"Hey, no," he says gently, grabbing Mingyu's cheeks to squish them forcefully. "Stop it, you dumbass."

That's when Mingyu realizes he's crying again.

"Let's get him home, hyung," Seungkwan says.

Mingyu doesn't want to go home. He wants to sit here and be miserable by himself.

"You can be miserable all you want in a bed, after you eat something," Seungkwan tells him crisply.

Mingyu isn't really able to resist, so they drag him to Jihoon's car easily enough. Jihoon takes one glance at him and passes him some of the emergency candy he always keeps in the glove compartment.

"You'll live, kid," he says with a roll of his eyes, but Mingyu knows it's supposed to be affection, because Jihoon only ever calls him kid when he wants to comfort him.

He's only a year older, but it still feels nice, Mingyu thinks, as he stuffs his face with chocolate. His throat burns with bitterness, but seeing Jihoon attempting affection despite being allergic to it helps.

"Where is Vernon?" Jihoon asks, clearly trying to change the subject.

"He bumped into some friends," Seungkwan says. "He's not coming back with us."

"Then we're only waiting for Soonyoung, right?" Wonwoo asks.

His hand is cupping Mingyu's nape, cool fingers massaging the tense muscles, and Mingyu sags against him, calmer.

He must doze off, because Seungkwan is shaking his shoulder suddenly. Soonyoung is there, too, and he helps him out of the car. Mingyu slumps on him, rubbing his eyes.

"God, Mingyu-ah, you're a mess," Seungcheol sighs when they climb up to his and Jihoon's apartment, and just like that Mingyu is crying again, but it's a lot harder to calm down this time.

Seungcheol gathers him up in his arms, making shushing noises. It's better then. Mingyu hiccups just slightly as Soonyoung feeds him the fried rice Seungcheol made before they came.

"You look like shit," Wonwoo clucks his tongue, running fingers through Mingyu's hair.

It's nice being doted on like that. He pouts at Wonwoo's comment just for the principal of things, but isn't really offended.

"When was the last time you slept more than three hours?" Seungkwan asks, passing him a glass of juice.

"Don't know," Mingyu mumbles. "A year ago? Maybe ten?"

"You're more dramatic than Seungkwan sometimes," Jihoon shakes his head with a small smile.

"Excuse me!" Seungkwan huffs.

Mingyu glares at Jihoon.

"How do you ever get more dramatic than this?" he deadpans.

Jihoon grins and focuses on his own food.

"Let's get you to sleep," Soonyoung says decisively.

"Just take my bed," Seungcheol says.

"Hyung, you look tired, too, though," Mingyu protests weakly.

Seungcheol smiles brightly, despite the dark bags under his eyes.

"I'm fine," he says easily. "I still have some stuff to finish for work."

"He can always join me in my bed when he's done," Jihoon adds.

"Yah!" Soonyoung yells immediately.

Jihoon sends him a shit eating grin and pats his face patronizingly.

"I should drop your ass," Soonyoung mutters begrudgingly.

"Who would be as patient with you as I am, though?" Jihoon teases.

Soonyoung looks at him in shock and turns to the others, pointing at him, as if to say _can you fucking believe this?_.

"Don't look at me," Wonwoo smirks. "I'd go crazy with you, we've been over this."

Soonyoung blinks at him in surprise. Seungkwan is the first to start giggling, Seungcheol quickly joining him with his loud laughter.

"How can you do this to me," Soonyoung asks, pressing a hand to his chest for a more dramatic effect. "I thought we were best friends."

"Sure," Wonwoo nods. "As long as Jihoon gets the more irritating side."

Soonyoung bristles and they bicker some more. Mingyu is just content to watch them without saying anything. He wishes he could just go home and talk shit to Minghao like this. Minghao never fails to outdo his sarcasm, his remarks stinging and always funny. But Mingyu can't go home. Not right now.

"Go take a nap, kiddo," Seungcheol says finally, making an even bigger mess on Mingyu's head, as he ruffles his hair.

"Hyung," Mingyu says quietly. "Wonu-hyung, can you take a nap with me?"

Wonwoo looks slightly taken aback for a second, but then nods quickly with an easy grin.

"Wait, Jeon Wonwoo? Not me?" Soonyoung asks, scandalized.

Mingyu smiles at him sheepishly, but even though Soonyoung is awesome when it comes to casual cuddling, Wonwoo has always been the one Mingyu goes to when something's wrong.

"Tell me what happened," Wonwoo says when they're already under the covers in Seungcheol's unnecessarily big bed. "I only know what Seungkwan and I managed to piece together."

Mingyu sighs shakily and Wonwoo giggles involuntarily because Mingyu's breath tickles his neck where Mingyu's head is tucked under Wonwoo's chin.

"He didn't tell me," Mingyu starts and he probably sounds like a whiny child, but he can't help it. "About the exhibition."

"What?" Wonwoo says incredulously. "Why? Because of your exam?"

"No," Mingyu answers quietly and has to pause to stop himself from crying again. "Because he didn't do what he promised."

Wonwoo's hand is in his hair and he doesn't mind how clingy Mingyu is at all. They've been through this a few times already, after all.

"Which is?" Wonwoo prompts.

Mingyu swallows the lump in his throat.

"He said he won't show my face."

"Ah," Wonwoo says softly. "That's a dick move."

"I don't really mind," Mingyu mumbles, slightly embarrassed now that he thinks about what it means.

He was completely naked during that photoshoot, after all. Showing his face with those kinds of pictures might make him look absolutely shameless.

"You don't?" Wonwoo asks. "Huh. I thought you were shy about this whole thing."

Mingyu buries his face in Wonwoo's chest even more, tightening his arms around Wonwoo's middle.

"At first, yeah," he admits. "I mean, I'm not a pro at modelling and I was, you know."

"Butt naked," Wonwoo supplies and Mingyu can hear the grin in his voice.

"Yeah, that," Mingyu smiles just a bit, too. "But then it was actually fun and I didn't care how Hao was going to edit them, you know?"

"You're upset because he didn't tell you about the exhibition itself, then?" Wonwoo guesses.

"He could have just told me that he picked one with my face in it and own up to it, not ignore me when he invited everyone else," Mingyu sniffs into Wonwoo's shirt.

It's kind of hot like this, but he doesn't intend to move.

"It's normal to feel wronged in a situation like this," Wonwoo says, pauses. "Even if you sound like a little kid," Mingyu huffs, offended. "But did you ask him why he picked that picture? I mean, it's an awesome picture, I like it the best out of them. Well, maybe except the one with your neck."

"Hyung!" Mingyu lets out a startled laugh.

"What?" Wonwoo says defensively, but Mingyu knows he's smiling. "I can't appreciate a good picture anymore?"

"Ask Junnie-hyung, if you can snap one of him," Mingyu teases.

"Your body is prettier than Jun's," Wonwoo shrugs, a bit awkward in their current position. "Hao did a good job."

Mingyu doesn't answer, his stomach churning again.

"Don't think I didn't notice you changing the subject," Wonwoo says quietly, the smile gone from his voice.

"What subject?" Mingyu grumbles, even though he knows very well.

"Ask him," Wonwoo says with a small sigh. "I know I'm not the best at this whole communication thing-"

Mingyu snorts.

" _But_ ," Wonwoo continues, slapping his arm. "The thing with Jun? It's going so much better than the thing with Soonyoung was, because I'm making myself talk it out. Ask Hao why he chose that picture and maybe you'll find out why he was so scared to tell you."

"I know why," Mingyu protests. "He didn't want me to know he broke the promise."

Wonwoo is silent for a long while and Mingyu almost accepts the fact that it's the end of the conversation, but Wonwoo finally speaks.

"Xu Minghao is a complicated creature. I just think there might be more to it, that's all. And you'll feel better about yourself. You can't stand not talking to someone who's your friend."

"Shut up," Mingyu mutters, but only because Wonwoo is right.

It doesn't mean he wants to talk to Minghao, though.

"Don't talk like that to your hyung," Wonwoo scolds, but doesn't even cuff him around the head like he usually does. "Let's make a party, huh? Or better yet, let's frame Soonyoung and Junhui. They're gonna love it and we can just come and get wasted."

"Hao's gonna be there," Mingyu points out.

"You can hold yourself back from doing the heart eyes at him for one evening," Wonwoo says.

Mingyu gasps.

"I do not do that!"

"Of course you do," Wonwoo disagrees, but his voice is soft now, no previous bite in it, and Mingyu has to take a deep breath to calm down the abrupt attack of feelings.

He's not used to Wonwoo being soft. Wonwoo isn't used to it, either, because he audibly clears his throat. It's one thing to let Mingyu cling to him and another to comfort him with gentle words.

"You're just gonna let me make you drunk and we'll have some fun, and Minghao can reflect on the other side of the room."

"Fine," Mingyu says, but they both know it's not going to be easy for him to just not care.

Mingyu doesn't think a party is going to help, but Wonwoo wants to take his mind off of Minghao and probably also his exams, now that they're over. He could never refuse such good intentions.

Minghao's right. He's definitely a wimp.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?" Wonwoo placates.
> 
> Mingyu nods and lets Wonwoo get him drunk. People join them and leave and Mingyu stops understanding how reality works by the time he's on the balcony, dancing crazily with a girl he doesn't know and Jackson. He decides he needs to sit down after a while of that and makes his way back to the room, bumping into a few people on his way. The couch is occupied by a making out couple; Mingyu is pretty sure it's Seungkwan and Hansol, so he decides to forget he ever saw anything and sit by the wall instead. The noise intensifies when he closes his eyes, but then everything quiets down to buzzing somewhere in the back of his mind. He feels tired. A hand runs through his hair and he hates that he can recognize it without opening his eyes. He opens them anyway.
> 
> "Let's go home," Minghao says.

Mingyu doesn't ask about the picture. Or anything else. More specifically, he doesn't talk to Minghao at all for the next few days. Minghao is working and Mingyu is a lazy ass, so he puts off looking for a job as much as he can. He spends a lot of evenings at Seokmin's or Wonwoo's, or Joshua and Jeonghan's place. He tries not to bother Seungcheol, but they still text sometimes. The only contact Mingyu has with Minghao is leaving him notes so that he knows the food in the refrigerator is for him. He's not a complete monster, after all, and he still worries about Minghao, because Minghao forgets to eat properly, if Mingyu doesn't feed him. He also thinks too often about Minghao's stress level and every night he comes home, he dreads finding something soaked in cold water. He knows it's not going to last long, this mutual avoiding, but he thinks he can afford a while to sort out his feelings and man up to actually talk to Minghao. He could never stay angry at him for extended period of time, they're more used to fighting everyday just to get over it an hour later, but this is different. Mingyu is different. Everything is too much right now and seeing Minghao would just piss him off all over again. He knows himself enough to be sure of that. He's still hurt and disappointed.

And then Soonyoung and Junhui make the party.

Mingyu goes because he promised Wonwoo, but he spends the first hour sitting next to Jihoon on Jihoon's and Seungcheol's couch, sipping on a beer and trying not to ruin everyone else's fun.

"You need something stronger than that," Jihoon says, staring at Mingyu judgmentally. "Trust me, I'm an expert at surviving events I don't wanna be at. Here."

Mingyu reluctantly takes the bottle Jihoon offers. He doesn't know what kind of alcohol it is, since Jihoon has a habit of shredding the label on any bottle he's holding, but he takes a sip anyway. It has a strong fruity flavor, but it's not that bad.

"What's that?" he asks, giving it back.

"Strawberry vodka," Jihoon says with a grin. "You can have it, I've had enough."

Mingyu raises an eyebrow at the almost full bottle, but he remembers Jihoon can't really drink.

"You okay, hyung?" he asks just to make sure.

"Okay enough to get through this without committing murder," Jihoon shrugs.

As if on cue, Soonyoung appears, squealing straight into Jihoon's ear and clinging to him.

Mingyu looks around so that he doesn't catch Jihoon's gaze screaming for help. There is a lot of people, probably more than should fit in here. Mingyu recognizes most of them. He hasn't seen Minghao yet.

"Gimme," Seokmin suddenly materializes in front of him, grabbing for the bottle.

Mingyu lets go, because at least Seokmin should have a great time tonight, since he spent the last week comforting Mingyu's sorry ass. At least they both passed all of their exams.

"You good?" Seokmin asks after a long sip.

Mingyu shrugs.

"Not completely terrible."

Seokmin just purses his lips and shakes his head.

"Not good enough then," he decides and pulls Mingyu to his feet.

Mingyu goes with him, because he doesn't really care either way. Seokmin takes him to the kitchen, which isn't in the best of states. Mingyu winces. Judging by Seungcheol's and Jihoon's drive for cleaning, it's going to be his job unless Soonyoung and Junhui own up to it. It's their party, after all.

Bambam and Jaehyun are already there, giggling about something. Yugyeom and Jeongguk should be somewhere around, then.

"Drink," Bambam says as soon as he spots Mingyu, passing him a shot glass.

Mingyu grimaces, but isn't about to refuse, so he drinks and then grimaces some more at the taste.

Three more shots and he's giggling with the rest, another few and Jaehyun is wiping his face, telling him not to cry. Mingyu blinks and then Wonwoo is there, holding a glass in front of his face.

"We were supposed to drink alcohol, loser," he says, forcing water down Mingyu's throat.

"Let's do that then," Mingyu slurs, standing up from Seungcheol's bed he doesn't remember sitting on.

Wonwoo narrows his eyes at him.

"Promise not to cry?"

Mingyu holds out his pinky and Wonwoo grins, locking it with his own. He helps Mingyu to the bathroom and waits for him to make himself presentable.

"Better?" he asks when Mingyu gets out.

"Yeah," Mingyu nods.

He is better. Right up until they enter the living room and he spots Minghao on the other side of it, chuckling about something with Soonyoung. It feels like someone just punched him in the gut and he almost doubles over from the sudden sense of longing. Wonwoo's hand is like vice on his arm, somehow keeping him together.

"I wanna talk to him," Mingyu says.

"When you're sober, man," Wonwoo tells him. "Come on, let's find something good to drink."

Mingyu follows him to the kitchen. His stomach feels weird and he's not sure, if it's because of the alcohol or because of Minghao.

"You'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?" Wonwoo placates.

Mingyu nods and lets Wonwoo get him drunk. People join them and leave and Mingyu stops understanding how reality works by the time he's on the balcony, dancing crazily with a girl he doesn't know and Jackson. He decides he needs to sit down after a while of that and makes his way back to the room, bumping into a few people on his way. The couch is occupied by a making out couple; Mingyu is pretty sure it's Seungkwan and Hansol, so he decides to forget he ever saw anything and sit by the wall instead. The noise intensifies when he closes his eyes, but then everything quiets down to buzzing somewhere in the back of his mind. He feels tired. A hand runs through his hair and he hates that he can recognize it without opening his eyes. He opens them anyway.

"Let's go home," Minghao says.

He's so close and smells so nice, and his eyes are soft despite being sharp. Mingyu wants to brush the dark bangs off of his forehead, wants to hold his face and kiss him. He sighs, accepting the hand Minghao offers and standing up.

They walk back slowly, shoulder in shoulder, until Mingyu glances at Minghao and notices the tiny smile on his face, and decides it would be a great idea to play being a car. The street is empty except for a vehicle or two passing them, so Mingyu doesn't think it's that dangerous. He's not that drunk anymore, either. His chest feels like a warm, glowing balloon is expanding it. He could maybe fly, he thinks. Playing a helicopter would be more suitable.

Minghao doesn't tell him to get back on the pavement, but Mingyu knows he watches him closely to make sure Mingyu isn't one of those people killed by their own stupidity.

They get home intact and sleepy, and Mingyu can't resist hugging Minghao from the back after they take off their shoes, enveloping his narrow shoulders in his arms. Minghao doesn't push him away, but he tenses up. Mingyu aches.

"Sorry," he whispers into Minghao's hair. "I was angry, but I shouldn't have avoided you for a week, I'm sorry-"

"Don't say that," Minghao cuts in suddenly.

Mingyu flinches in surprise.

"Don't apologize," Minghao repeats, softly now. "I should be doing that. You're making me look like a huge dick. I mean, I probably am a huge dick because of what I did, but this is so much worse."

Mingyu smiles because he knows that's as much of an apology as he's going to get. He doesn't really mind. It's enough that they're talking and that Minghao knows what he did wasn't okay.

"You're a small dick," Mingyu says, fully grinning now. "It could have been worse."

"Worse than a small dick?" Minghao says, because he always plays along. "I don't think so."

Mingyu huffs a laugh into his hair.

"We should go to sleep," Minghao says after a moment of silence.

Mingyu doesn't want to let him go. A week might have not been enough to sort out his feelings, after all. Not that he didn't expect that. He just wants something to change.  
Minghao unglues Mingyu's arms from around him, but doesn't immediately move away, which is a bit of a surprise.

"I didn't wanna piss you off," he says, looking Mingyu directly in the eye. "You know that, right?"

Sudden feelings are like punch to the gut and Mingyu bites the inside of his cheek to hold himself back from everything.

"I know," he hears himself say and is shocked how stable he sounds. "I might have overreacted, too. It was just, you know, upsetting. I helped you with your project and you didn't even tell me our pictures are gonna be at an exhibition."

Minghao's expression gets weird for a second but Mingyu is too drunk to understand it before it's gone.

"I know," Minghao says quietly.

His voice swims and Mingyu knows he means the apology, however roundabout it was.

"Oh my God," Minghao mutters in English, rolling his eyes. "You're such a wimp."

Mingyu doesn't care that he's crying again, because it's relieved crying. Minghao passes him a tissue and touches his hair for the second time tonight, and then pushes him into the bathroom.

"Get a grip, dude," he says, closing the door behind Mingyu.

When Mingyu sees himself in the mirror, he's smiling like an idiot through his tears.

***

"So you're made up?" Chan asks, poking Mingyu's slumped back.

Mingyu makes a vaguely confirmative noise, not raising his head.

"But you didn't ask him why he really did it?" Chan inquires.

Mingyu makes a vaguely denying noise.

"You're not gonna let it go," Seungkwan predicts wisely from his place by the stove, where he's heating up some soup for Mingyu.

Mingyu loves Wonwoo for telling Seungkwan to come and check up on him with hangover food, since he himself is at work.

"I know," Mingyu mumbles, too hungover to speak with more complicated sentences.

He's going to obsess about Minghao's reason for picking that picture until he dies, but they've already talked about it. Minghao apologized. Or at least tried to. There is no need for them to get back to it.

"Don't you wanna like, get over it?" Chan asks. "Maybe go out with someone else to stop thinking about him?"

Mingyu shakes his head as fast as his state of being lets him. Which isn't very fast at all.

"That's not very convincing," Seungkwan decides.

His sentence is followed by the sound of something being placed on the table and Mingyu makes himself raise his head.

"I'm not going on any dates," he says, his whole focus on soup. "I have enough problems as it is."

"Maybe it wouldn't be a problem," Chan points out.

Mingyu doesn't answer, because he doesn't want to admit that Chan is right. He likes being in love, that's the thing. Being heartbroken at the same time isn't so bad when it's Minghao. If he was supposed to be heartbroken and see a new person at the same time, it would suck even more. He doesn't think there is any need to bring someone else into the mess. He would just feel bad, if he couldn't get over Minghao in the end.

"I'm not dating anyone," he says decisively.

Chan and Seungkwan exchange pointed looks, but drop it after that. Mingyu just eats his soup.

It's two days later, when he's trying to look at job offers and procrastinating, that he hears about it again. This time, it's Jeonghan. At first, it's only a text and Mingyu doesn't suspect anything, as he gets ready to meet Jeonghan downstairs.

"Get in, loser, we're going shopping," Jeonghan yells to him from Joshua's car.

Seungkwan is there, too, along with Junhui. That's when Mingyu pauses.

"Why are we going shopping today?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, so what does it matter, if you're out," Seungkwan shrugs.

"I want clothes and you have to tell me that I look beautiful in everything, but also pick what I look the best in," Jeonghan explains.

Mingyu gets in the car. That's always the case with Jeonghan, because while his and Mingyu's styles are completely different, Mingyu's opinion is still better than Joshua's and he can tell what suits Jeonghan the best, even when Jeonghan himself isn't sure about that particular piece of clothing.

"And also," Jeonghan adds when they're already moving. "There is this guy I want you to meet and you need something cute to wear."

Mingyu groans.

"Hyung, come on, I don't want to meet people!"

"Who asked about your opinion?" Jeonghan says. "I already promised him, so you have to go. You can't make me look bad, can you."

And the thing is, Mingyu can't, even if he wants to very badly.

"I'll just meet him once, okay? And tell him I'm not doing this. That's it."

Jeonghan shrugs.

"We'll see."

Mingyu can't believe this.

"I knew something was going on when I saw Seungkwan."

"Hey," Seungkwan protests. "I just suggested a solution to your problem and hyung actually did something about it. You should be thanking us."

Mingyu looks pleadingly to Junhui, but Junhui just pats his shoulder.

"It'll do you good to get over Minghao and focus on yourself," he says. "You're wasting your face. And your niceness."

Mingyu sighs. Of course that's what Junhui thinks about when it comes to this whole mess.

"I could be nicer. And I'm not that pretty," Mingyu mumbles. "And it's not even about that, it's-"

"What do you mean you're not pretty, have you even seen the pictures Minghao took of you?!" Seungkwan yells, scandalized.

"It's very confusing when you're shouting nice things at me, you know," Mingyu mutters.

"Whatever," Jeonghan cuts in, trying to find a parking space in front of the mall. "The point is, you're getting over it, whether you want to or not."

It's completely useless to argue with Jeonghan when he gets what he thinks is an amazing idea, so Mingyu doesn't even try.

"You should find a job soon, Mingyu-ah," Junhui says when they're already in the mall and Mingyu is holding two pairs of pants and three shirts Jeonghan dumps on him to try. "You're not gonna make it with Jeonghannie-hyung getting you to buy so many clothes."

Mingyu just sighs. He could really use some money. And non-problematic friends.

"What the hell are you still doing there, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan calls from the changing room.

Mingyu sighs again and goes to him. Junhui disappears in the women section. Seungkwan is outside the store, talking to someone on the phone and gesticulating wildly. Mingyu thinks he hits someone by accident, but decides it's not worth it to check.

"So?" Jeonghan asks, presenting himself in front of the changing room.

Mingyu looks him up and down critically.

"It's nice," he says slowly. It is, it's just not the best. "But here, take this and-"

"Excuse me, do you need any help here?"

Mingyu startles so badly, he drops everything he's holding, turning around abruptly.

"Oh, crap, I'm really sorry," the clerk says quickly, flustered, crouching to pick the clothes up. He must realize what he said, because he looks up at Mingyu with wide eyes. "Oh my God, I mean-"

"It's okay," Mingyu assures him quickly, helping him with the mess on the floor. "Really, it's fine, I'm sorry, too."

The guy smiles at him and Mingyu notices his face is very nice to look at. He's kind of like one of those magical creatures from Chan's fantasy games. He also seems vaguely familiar.

"Oh," the guy says quietly. His smile grows and his eyes almost disappear in it in the prettiest way. "I think I've seen you before."

"Kim Mingyu," Mingyu introduces himself, completely fascinated.

He's always thought Minghao's face is a bit like that of a pixie, but this guy is right out a fairy, almost luminescent in the artificial light of ceiling glow-tubes.

"Lee Dongmin," he says, extending a hand. "Usually it's Cha Eunwoo, though."

"Nice to meet you, Eunwoo-ssi," Mingyu says with a grin, shaking his hand.

It's warm and very pleasant to the touch. Cha Eunwoo must take very good care of his skin. Mingyu doesn't ask why he has two sets of names, because it doesn't seem to matter.

"How old are you?" Eunwoo asks, still smiling beautifully.

"Oh, I was born in ninety seven," Mingyu says, noticing they're still holding hands.

"Me, too!" Eunwoo exclaims.

"Really? Where do you go to school?" Mingyu asks excitedly.

"I don't go to any at the moment," Eunwoo laughs and his laughter is as wonderful as his smile.

"I'm sure I know you from somewhere, though," Mingyu frowns, trying to remember.

"Same," Eunwoo says. "It'd be impossible to forget a face like yours."

Mingyu blinks at him in surprise.

"Thanks?"

"I mean," Eunwoo says quickly. "I wasn't trying to flirt! But it's not that you're unflirtable, you're very flirtable! I just, that wasn't flirting, I didn't want to come off as rude or anything."

"It's okay," Mingyu huffs a laugh, because Eunwoo looks very flustered and it's adorable. "Your face is pretty impossible to forget, too."

Eunwoo opens his mouth to answer and is interrupted by a loud clearing of someone's throat. They both turn around. Jeonghan is standing in the changing room, looking at them with raised eyebrows and arms crossed over his chest.

"Sorry," Mingyu says quickly to Eunwoo. "I was supposed to help my friend with picking out clothes."

"Of course!" Eunwoo answers with a sweet smile. "Um, do you need any help?"

"No, we're fine, thanks," Mingyu glances at Jeonghan who started to tap his foot. "I won't hold you back from doing your job anymore."

"This is my job," Eunwoo grins. "But I'm gonna go check on other customers, if you're good."

"It was nice to meet you, Eunwoo-ssi!" Mingyu yells after him.

"Nice to meet you, too!" Eunwoo says, turning around to ask someone else, if they need anything.

Mingyu is still smiling, but it quickly changes when he looks back at Jeonghan.

"Shut up," he says.

Jeonghan's smirk only widens.

"Let's get back to your suggestions," he says, but Mingyu knows he's not going to drop it.

Clothes are just more important at the moment.

Jeonghan changes into whatever Mingyu passes him and looks himself up and down critically.

"How do I look?" he asks Seungkwan, who shows up next to them.

"Like a human," Seungkwan huffs.

He looks annoyed.

"Pretty," Mingyu corrects quickly. "Very pretty."

"You were the one who picked this, I can't trust you," Jeonghan grumbles, sufficiently distracted from Seungkwan's snap. "Where is Junnie?"

"We'll go look for him," Mingyu says, dragging Seungkwan away. "What's wrong?" he asks him when they're at a safe distance.

"I'm in the middle of a fight with Vernon," Seungkwan mutters. "He can be so dense sometimes, seriously!"

"Wanna talk? Or do you want to figure it out yourself?"

"Thanks, but I'm fine," Seungkwan sighs tiredly. "I'm just trying something out right now, you know I like to have a good fight once in a while."

"Oh yeah," Mingyu nods heavily. "I know that all too well."

Seungkwan nudges his side, but he's smiling, so Mingyu figures it's going to be fine, whatever it is they're fighting about.

"By the way, who were you flirting with just now, I couldn't see their face," Seungkwan asks.

"Oh look, there's Jun-hyung!" Mingyu exclaims, grabbing a confused Junhui's hand to pull him back to Jeonghan.

"We'll get back to this, Kim Mingyu," Seungkwan tells him ominously.

"It looks good," Junhui nods, rounding Jeonghan to see from every side. "Buy it. What do you think about this?" he asks them, showing the shirt he found.

It's something Minghao would like, Mingyu thinks.

"Is it a female shirt?" Jeonghan asks, touching the material. "The color is nice, but the style doesn't suit you."

Junhui looks sad, so Jeonghan rolls his eyes and goes with him to find something else that would suit him.

They exit the store with a lot more clothes and much less money than they came in with. Eunwoo is on the register now and he smiles at Mingyu, as they buy everything, but then notices Seungkwan and his eyes widen.

"Seungkwannie!" he exclaims.

"Hyung!" Seungkwan answers with a grin. "I had no idea this is the store you worked at!"

Mingyu is hit with a sudden sense of recognition.

"You're Moonbin's friend!"

Eunwoo's eyes disappear into pretty half-moons again.

"You could say that," he nods.

He's adorable.

"You met?" Seungkwan asks.

Mingyu throws him a pointed look.

"Oh!" Seungkwan says quickly and at least that means he won't pester Mingyu about flirting with random people during shopping. "That's awesome! Remind Moonbin about lunch tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure thing," Eunwoo says and throws Mingyu one last happy smile before they have to move, because other customers gather behind them to pay.

"If I knew it was so easy for you to meet someone, I would have taken you shopping months ago," Jeonghan says.

"Eunwoo-hyung is off limits, though," Seungkwan says absent-mindedly, busy with his phone.

"That's good, it would be a deadly combo," Junhui decides, leading them towards the nearest ice cream booth. "People wouldn't know who to look at."

Mingyu rolls his eyes.

"You still have a date tomorrow," Jeonghan shrugs.

"Tomorrow?!" Mingyu asks in shock. "You didn't say it was so soon!"

Jeonghan just throws him a pitiful glance.

***

Minghao watches him closely, as Mingyu searches through his closet to find something suitable for his date.

"Why are you trying so hard, when you don't even want to go," Minghao asks.

"I don't want to look like a homeless person either way," Mingyu says. He's nervous. "You should understand that."

"I do," Minghao nods. "But you always buy your clothes with Jeonghan or with me, there is no chance you'll look like a homeless person."

Mingyu narrows his eyes at him. Minghao seems mildly annoyed.

"Don't forget to eat dinner," Mingyu reminds him.

"I'm not five," Minghao huffs.

"Maybe not physically," Mingyu teases, grinning at him.

"Because you are so much of an adult," Minghao rolls his eyes. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Mingyu says solemnly, smoothing out his shirt. "How do I look?"

Minghao's gaze slips all the way down his body, and Mingyu is dressed this time, but it still causes goosebumps on his skin.

"It's good," Minghao decides, his voice quiet and heavy.

Mingyu wants him to come closer and undress every single piece of clothing he managed to put together over the last half an hour.

"I'll let you leave the house like this," Minghao allows.

"Thanks, your highness," Mingyu drawls, shaking off the dangerous thoughts.

"You're welcome," Minghao smiles, but it's small and strange. "Have fun."

He's out of the room before Mingyu knows it. Leaving the house feels uneasy, like it's not what Mingyu should be doing now at all, like it's someone else that's supposed to be in his place.

"Hi," the guy greets him with a radiant grin.

He has a very nice face.

"Hi," Mingyu smiles back. "You must be Lee Minhyuk-ssi."

"That would be awkward for the whole evening, though, you can call me hyung, if you want," Minhyuk shrugs.

"Sure," Mingyu agrees, sitting down opposite him in the cafe, but he's not sure, if he's going to call him that.

"Okay," Minhyuk's face gets unexpectedly serious. "So I need to tell you something, Kim Mingyu, and I hope you won't be offended."

Mingyu frowns, his stomach turning anxiously.

"Yeah?"

"I'm here only because Jeonghannie made me. I'm not looking for a relationship," Minhyuk says. "Actually, I'm in a complicated relationship with a guy right now and I don't want an even bigger mess."

"Oh thank God," Mingyu sighs heavily in relief. "Me, too."

Minhyuk's eyebrows raise slightly on his forehead.

"Really?" he asks with a big smile.

"Yeah, to be honest I'm kinda in love with my best friend?" Mingyu admits.

"Oh," Minhyuk blinks rapidly. "He doesn't know?"

"Well," Mingyu starts, discovering it's shockingly easy to share his biggest concerns with a stranger. "He might. But I didn't confess."

"A smart one?" Minhyuk asks.

"Scarily smart," Mingyu nods.

Minhyuk hisses sympathetically.

"Then there is a big chance he knows. I'm glad we're in a similar situation, though."

"Yeah, I'm so relieved," Mingyu nods quickly.  
"So that means," Minhyuk starts, his grin growing. "We can gossip over coffee and talk about our problems, and actually have fun. And then leave in peace."

"What do we tell Jeonghan-hyung, though?" Mingyu asks.

Minhyuk shrugs.

"That it didn't click."

Mingyu is willing to try, even though he's sure Jeonghan won't leave him alone about it. Minhyuk might get a free pass, since he's older than Jeonghan.

It's an entertaining evening and Mingyu ends up pouring every last one of his worries to Minhyuk, who just nods and in turn tells Mingyu everything about this one guy named Hyungwon and how problematic he can be.

"When was the last time your best friend went clubbing?" Minhyuk asks.

Mingyu tries to remember, but it's basically impossible with how busy he was with his own problems lately.

"If he's not looking for anyone, maybe you should tell him," Minhyuk suggests.

Mingyu feels nauseous at the mere thought.

"He's more complicated than that," he says with a sigh.

Minhyuk just shrugs.

In the end, they don't really help each other with their troubles, but it's still a nice change to talk to someone who doesn't know Mingyu like all of his friends he shared everything with know him.

"It was nice to meet you, Mingyu-ah," Minhyuk says after they leave the cafe.

They spent at least three hours there, but it's no surprise, since Minhyuk likes to talk a lot and Mingyu just wanted some attention after spilling all about his problems.

"You, too, hyung" Mingyu answers with a smile and can't keep himself from hugging Minhyuk tightly.

Minhyuk reciprocates, laughing joyously.

"Don't worry," he says, patting Mingyu's hair. "It's all gonna work out."

Mingyu can only hope he's right.

"How was it?" Minghao asks when Mingyu gets back.

He doesn't look up from his laptop, bare feet perched on their coffee table.

"It was fun," Mingyu admits sincerely.

Minghao pauses the typing on his keyboard. For a second, Mingyu thinks he's going to hear something that will change everything.

"That's good," Minghao says only.

Mingyu lets out the breath he's been holding and smiles sadly to himself.

"Yeah," he sighs, throwing one last look at Minghao's blank face and his bony feet, before moving to his room.

***

They're not exactly fighting after that, but somehow they stop talking to each other. Mingyu decides he's never wanted to kill all his stupid feelings more than now.

The weather does nothing to improve his mood, because it's raining all the time, the grey sky making him sluggish and reluctant to do anything. He still hasn't found a job.  
Jeonghan has, though, and he drags Mingyu, Wonwoo and Soonyoung out to buy some clothes as a celebration. Junhui tags along, because he simply likes shopping.

Mingyu tries to discreetly ask Wonwoo what's going on with them when they're in Joshua's car, but he just gets a grin and a shrug, which means whatever they're doing with each other, it's good.

Mingyu is in the middle of dressing Soonyoung so that he knows what suits him and what doesn't (like for example basically everything he keeps in his closet), when he hears a familiar voice.

"I see you don't need any help," Eunwoo says, eyes like pretty little half-moons.

Mingyu actually forgot they're in the same store as last time.

"We're good, thanks," he answers with a smile of his own.

"Awesome," Eunwoo nods, smoothly fixing the collar of Soonyoung's shirt.

Soonyoung looks up at him with his mouth open, mesmerized. Mingyu snickers at him and promises himself to tell Jihoon. Jealous Jihoon is a hilarious sight.

"I have a proposition this time," Eunwoo continues, not paying any attention to Soonyoung, but then again, Mingyu is sure he must be used to all kinds of awed gazes. "Last time you were here, you also helped a friend pick out an outfit that suited him, right?"

"Yeah?" Mingyu says carefully.

"Last week someone quit, wouldn't you maybe like to work here?"

That's definitely not something Mingyu expected at all.

"Um," he says intelligently.

"Yes, he would very much like to try!" Soonyoung answers for him immediately.

Eunwoo sends him a pretty smile and Soonyoung swoons.

"Great! Give me your number, then, and we'll talk it out over coffee, maybe?" Eunwoo offers.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Mingyu blurts out finally, taking Eunwoo's phone and typing in his number on autopilot. "Thanks."

Eunwoo winks at him, puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung's shoulder and leaves them be.

"Dude," Soonyoung says with feeling.

Mingyu can only nod.

Minghao's in the kitchen when Mingyu gets ready to meet with Eunwoo three days later.

"Another date?" he asks evenly.

"Kind of," Mingyu says, because he's still not used to them being quiet and awkward around each other, he still expects Minghao to tease him.

Minghao's face does something very complicated, though, and then he looks back down at the pictures laid out on the kitchen table.

"Have fun," he says quietly.

Mingyu stays in the door for another two seconds, torn between leaving without a word and explaining it's actually not a date at all.

"You're distracting me," Minghao tells him.

Mingyu doesn't know why he feels hurt. Maybe because they're simple words, without any mean intention, but Minghao has never used them before. Not even when Mingyu would barge into his room in the middle of the night and demand cuddles to pull him away from work.

"Sorry," Mingyu says, his throat like sand paper.

At least he knows he can leave without saying anything now.

"Is everything okay?" Eunwoo asks as soon as they meet in a very cozy cafe Mingyu didn't know existed.

Mingyu guesses he shouldn't share all his problems with every stranger he goes out for coffee with, so he musters up a smile.

"Everything's perfectly fine," he assures Eunwoo.

Eunwoo doesn't look like he believes him, but doesn't say anything else, either.

They go over the business stuff, Mingyu stains his shirt with coffee, Eunwoo laughs at him, not unkindly, and proceeds to fix it with some mystical potion he apparently carries around with him.

"You learn a few tricks, when you love clothes," he winks at Mingyu after he's done.

Mingyu finds out Eunwoo is a manager at the store, they switch topics to their shared hatred of vanilla over the cake Mingyu buys for them, and then Mingyu is suddenly talking about Minghao and his irrational fear of finding seeds even in meals that have no chance of as much as standing next to anything with them in it.

"I have to finish eating for him, if he finds even half of a seed in his food," Mingyu shakes his head. "No wonder he's so skinny! And then he doesn't want me to make him breakfast! Like I would let him out of the house without eating anything!"

Eunwoo is smiling, as he listens attentively. Mingyu realizes where the conversation has gone to and tries to backpedal.

"Sorry, you don't even know him, let's talk about something else."

"No, it's okay," Eunwoo protests immediately. "You must really love your friend."

Mingyu opens his mouth and kind of just stays like that, shocked. Eunwoo's smile slowly slips.

"Oh," he says with understanding. "He's... not just your friend?"

"He's," Mingyu starts, pauses. He's not sure himself at this point, to be honest. "We've been best friends since he came to Korea four years ago, but now it's, um, it's pretty complicated."

"You didn't confess," Eunwoo guesses, but it's not at all judging, so Mingyu doesn't have any reason to get offended.

Mingyu doesn't answer, something heavy settling in his throat.

"It's okay," Eunwoo promises. "I know exactly what complicated is, trust me. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend right now, and it's crazy."

Mingyu blinks at him.

"That's amazing," he breathes. "Getting together with two people at once, and I can't even figure out one person."

"People are very complicated," Eunwoo says sympathetically. "It took us almost two years to get it together somehow. If it's hard, just give yourself some time. Unless he feels the same?"

"I don't know," Mingyu sighs, a little choked up. "He's impossible to figure out. I can't tell what he's thinking at all when it comes to feelings."

"Does he know? About you?" Eunwoo asks, grabbing Mingyu's hand, squeezing.

It's easier to breathe now.

"I'm pretty sure everyone does by now," Mingyu admits. "I'm not very subtle."

"Okay, so if he knows, he must give you signals. The question is, if they're positive or negative."

Mingyu thinks about all of their Moments™ and about Minghao moving away from him like he needs space. About his soft smile when Mingyu nags at him to eat properly, and about his indifference before Mingyu left the house today.

"If the signals are mixed," Eunwoo interrupts his internal conflict. "He might not be sure himself. Don't give up yet, okay?"

Mingyu looks into his pretty eyes, supportive and warm, even though he's just a stranger, and everything is better suddenly. He lets himself for a small smile.

"That's the spirit," Eunwoo praises. "Now let's buy another cake."

***

Mingyu decides to observe Minghao closely whenever they see each other, which is, unfortunately, not very often. It stings just a little, but Mingyu braces himself and manages to withstand Minghao's silences like a pro.

Working in the clothes store turns out to be an awesome experience. A little exhausting and much harder than Mingyu thought it would be, but he's satisfied whenever he recommends a lost customer some good matches, and he does have a stable income. The only problem is that his friends love to visit him and interrupt his work as much as possible.

"You should stop harassing me, it's been two weeks," Mingyu groans when he sees Seokmin, Soonyoung and Chan for the sixty seventh time.

Seokmin grins at him sunnily and proceeds to talk to Eunwoo. They became friends somewhere during that short time and with that outcome, Mingyu is pretty pleased.

"What do you think about this?" Soonyoung asks, holding a pair of angry red sweats and pinkish, flowy blouse.

Mingyu sighs long-sufferingly and leaves without a word to find Chan. Chan is sarcastic and incredibly witty, but he's also an angel, who came to actually buy something today.

"Take this one," Mingyu suggests, holding out a simple, black belt that he knows is leather and on sale.

Chan takes it and contemplates for a few seconds.

"It should be good, thanks," he smiles finally.

"Why do you need a belt?" Mingyu questions in concern. "Did you lose weight again?"

"Calm down, mom," Chan rolls his eyes. "I just bought pants and they seemed fine, but I need a belt after all."

"Good," Mingyu nods, pleased.

"Mingyu-ah!" Soonyoung appears next to them with a huge smile and the most outrageously matched outfit Mingyu has ever seen.

"No," Mingyu says.

Soonyoung clucks his tongue.

"You start to sound like Wonwoo," he complains.

"Put it away, you're not gonna buy anything anyway!" Mingyu exclaims.

"How do you know," Soonyoung grumbles, but takes off the leopard print sunglasses and puts them back on the shelf.

"Because you don't have any money," Mingyu deadpans.

Soonyoung glares at him, but lets himself be dragged back to the changing room.

"You're getting lunch with us?" Chan asks, looking after Soonyoung with disdain.

"Yeah, sure," Mingyu agrees instantly.

He thinks it might have not been such a great idea when both Soonyoung and Seokmin stare him down half an hour later, as they're waiting for their pasta on the other end of the mall.

"What now," Mingyu says.

He doesn't even have the strength for a question mark.

"Do you and Minghao still have the silent days?" Soonyoung asks, narrowing his eyes, even though they're pretty non-existent on a normal basis.

Mingyu rolls his eyes.

"They're not silent days."

"But you don't talk," Seokmin says and dammit, he has a point.

Mingyu takes a deep breath, but releases nearly all of it before any words even leave his mouth.

"I just," he pauses. Takes another gulp of air. "I don't know what I should do about it. If he knows about my..."

"Feelings," Chan supplies, because he knows Mingyu didn't want to say it out loud.

"Right," Mingyu nods. "If he knows, then I can't just be all clingy and stuff. He'd want space."

"Maybe," Soonyoung allows. "But what if he knows and doesn't want space, but has no idea how to tell you? It's Minghao, he's the biggest tsundere in this world, he won't just say right out that he feels the same."

Mingyu opens his mouth to protest.

"He might also be unsure and confused, but not necessarily opposed to the idea of a relationship," Seokmin adds, nodding solemnly to his own words.

Mingyu gives up, because it sounds logical even to his damaged brain that wants to deny everything just to make it easier for him. He's not sure how he feels about the new spike of hope their words cause in the back of his ribcage.

He doesn't have to answer, though, because their pasta is placed in front of them and Soonyoung starts a discussion about how weird nails are.

"They're as weird as anything in our body," Seokmin disagrees.

"No, but listen, it's just hardened tissue that protects the tips of our fingers!" Soonyoung exclaims.

A lady a table over gives him a funny look.

"If you think about it, eyebrows are also only there to protect our eyes," Chan reasons. "But have you seen those photoshopped pics of people without them? Freaky."

"You know what else is weird?" Mingyu chimes in. "Ears. Like, why are they shaped like that? Animal ears have completely different shapes, right?"

"Hair," Seokmin says. "Hair is so weird. How can it not hurt when you cut it?"

It's barely a few minutes before they start yelling over one another and then Mingyu has to go back to work without any conclusion to their discussion.

He gets home tired, but in a good mood. He's humming one of the songs he heard in the store, as he toes off his shoes. The apartment is quiet, but the lamp is switched on in the living room, so Mingyu guesses Minghao is home. He's on the way to his bedroom, Soonyoung's and Seokmin's words echoing in his head, when he literally bumps into Minghao, who exits his room without a sound.

Minghao bounces off and looks up at him in surprise.

"Hi," Mingyu says lamely.

He thinks he sees a ghost of a smile on Minghao's face.

"Hi," Minghao answers.

Mingyu was so startled, mostly because of Minghao's eyes and his hair falling into them, that he hasn't noticed Minghao's outfit until now. It's not exactly fancy, but definitely fashionable, like all of Minghao's clothes. It seems more daring, more for a special occasion, though. His collarbones are visible over the collar of his shirt again, incredibly distracting.

"How was work?" Minghao asks, slowly, like he's not sure where they both stand, not sure if he can ask.

"Tiring, but really cool," Mingyu says and wishes Minghao wasn't so careful. "Until Soonyoung-hyung, Seokmin and Chan showed up."

"They could give it a rest, you've been there two weeks," Minghao rolls his eyes.

"Exactly!" Mingyu cries, desperate for that shred of attention, shred of sympathy he unexpectedly got.

"I wanted to come by, too," Minghao says, still carefully gauging Mingyu's reaction. "You have some nice clothes sometimes, I wanted to check it out."

"Sure, you can come by anytime!" Mingyu agrees enthusiastically.

Minghao is smiling a bit more now.

"Glad to see that years of educating you about fashion have finally payed off," he says, scrunching up his nose a bit.

Mingyu feels like his heart will jump out of his chest any second now from pure excitement and relief. Minghao is teasing him. They're getting back to normal.

"I have a perfectly nice taste without your education, thank you!" Mingyu huffs, just for show.

"Right," Minghao says with a patronizing little grin. "I'm sure you do. Anyway, I'm already late, so I should get going. See you tomorrow, I guess."

Mingyu stands awkwardly in the hall until Minghao disappears behind the front door, his heart still wild and happy, even though he doesn't know where Minghao is going, even though it could be a date.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're the prettiest," Mingyu says simply.
> 
> Minghao raises an eyebrow, but doesn't turn to him.
> 
> " _That_ was weird," he says.
> 
> A spark of irritation flares in Mingyu's stomach.

It's not a date, Mingyu learns two hours later, when he's playing a game on his laptop and hears the front door. If it was a date, Minghao wouldn't come home for the night.

Mingyu closes his laptop, admitting to himself he was just putting away sleep, because he was worried.

He's half asleep when he hears Minghao's voice through the wall, high-pitched and breathy, and sits up in alarm before he knows it. He tells himself he should find his headphones and listen to some music to not be a creep, but it's so tempting and also probably harmless, right?

There has been a few times he got careless, as frustration cumulated and made him snap, and Minghao must have heard him then. They never talked about it, because Minghao hates to make things awkward. But Mingyu hasn't heard him once, not like tonight, desperate and loud.

He's half hard by the time he decides it can't possibly make everything worse, since he can't imagine falling deeper than he already has. He reaches down, wrapping a hand loosely around his dick, back already sweaty against the sheets, his breath coming short, spine tingling. He closes his eyes, Minghao's voice filtering through the thin wall so clearly, it's almost like they're in the same room. Mingyu can't decipher any words, but it's not like he needs them, the growls and moaning is more than enough. Mingyu bites down on his fist not to get discovered, and proceeds to imagine Minghao riding him, piercing eyes shining in the darkness, black hair sticking to sweaty forehead, faint smirk stretching bitten red lips. Minghao would tease him, wouldn't let him come for ages, laughing breathily at his whines. And finally, Mingyu would flip them over, Minghao's mouth opening in surprise, and slam into him, chasing his release. Minghao would scratch his back, pull at his hair, completely lost to the sensation, and then kiss him, sloppy and full of affection, and-

Mingyu chokes on his breath, coming hard into his fist. His limbs tingle deliciously, mind foggy. Everything clears slowly, shame and regret sinking in. He was wrong. It wasn't harmless. It's one thing to jerk off to the image of your best friend, but coming from picturing him kissing you carries this scary sense of finality that has Mingyu's heart racing, as he listens in to the silence behind the wall.

After what feels like two years, Mingyu hears a door open and he has to swallow down the sudden dread. Minghao doesn't come to confront him, though, and Mingyu takes a calming breath, wondering what he was even expecting. Of course Minghao wouldn't come. Not because they're barely talking to each other, but because he hates confrontation when it's not necessary.

Mingyu exhales loudly and reaches for tissues. He doesn't really sleep that night.

Minghao is in the hall by the time Mingyu emerges from his room, checking his black hair in the mirror by the door.

Mingyu stops short, taking in his appearance. After last night, everything seems slightly shifted, just a bit too focused in some places, too blurred in others. Minghao has an oversized white shirt on, contrasting beautifully with his hair. It looks incredibly easy to slip off. Minghao's lips are right there, pale and inviting. Mingyu slaps himself mentally.

"Rough night?" Minghao asks, not really looking him in the eye.

Mingyu clears his throat awkwardly.

"You going somewhere?" he evades as good as he can.

"Yeah," Minghao nods and doesn't elaborate.

Mingyu is still kind of awestruck, blinded by Minghao's smooth skin. He's glad he doesn't have work today, because he would be useless.

"How do I look?" Minghao asks, presenting his clothes.

"You're pretty," Mingyu breathes dumbly.

He freezes half a second later, realizing what he just said. Minghao doesn't look fazed, though, he just purses his lips, pulling at the sleeves of his shirt. Mingyu clears his throat.

"Um, that... wasn't it weird?"

"What was?" Minghao mutters, fluffing his hair.

"I just said you're pretty," Mingyu reminds him, slightly anxious.

Minghao looks down at his legs, smoothing out the material of black pants covering them.

"You think everyone is pretty, Mingyu," he says matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, of course they are, but it's not the same," Mingyu mumbles, still a little lost and unable to control his brain to mouth filter.

"How is it not the same?" Minghao asks evenly.

He's still not looking at Mingyu and it's unsettling, like he's being ostentatiously ignored.

"You're the prettiest," Mingyu says simply.

Minghao raises an eyebrow, but doesn't turn to him.

" _That_ was weird," he says.

A spark of irritation flares in Mingyu's stomach.

"Oh _really_? You were the one who picked a picture with my face for the exhibition," he mutters, feeling slightly desperate and a lot more annoyed with Minghao's attitude.

"How is that relevant?" Minghao asks, finally turning around to look at him with burning eyes.

"Oh, I see you learned a new word," Mingyu snaps.

"You could do that too sometimes, so that you know how to answer a damn question," Minghao bites back.

"It's relevant because it was weird!" Mingyu raises his voice. "You promised!"

"I said sorry!" Minghao exclaims.

"No, you didn't! That's the thing! You just said you're a dick!" Mingyu yells. "Why would you even do it, if you're sorry?!"

"Because you're smiling in that picture and you don't smile at me at all anymore!" Minghao almost screeches.

They both pause, letting the words sink in.

"Forget I said it," Minghao says quickly.

"What? No!" Mingyu protests immediately.

"Forget it or I'll strangle you," Minghao threatens, and he looks dead serious.

"Why do I have to die over this?!" Mingyu asks incredulously.

"Fine, then I'll throw myself under a bus," Minghao says darkly. "It's on you, though."

"Why does anyone have to die over this?!"

Minghao looks at him for a moment and then bolts through the door. Mingyu stares at the wooden surface for three whole seconds and then runs after him, pajamas and all. He's not even sure why, he just doesn't want to let this conversation end.

Minghao's stamina is crazy, but Mingyu's legs are longer, and so, Minghao runs as far as the campus before Mingyu tackles him to the ground.

"Fuck you and your long legs, Kim Mingyu!" Minghao yells, squirming in his hold.

"I'm sorry!" Mingyu blurts out, his heart pounding. He doesn't know, if it's from running or something else entirely. "I'm sorry, Hao-ah, I didn't mean- I'm sorry I stopped smiling at you."

"Why are you so embarrassing," Minghao mutters. "I told you to forget it."

"Well, I won't," Mingyu says stubbornly. "I didn't know you noticed and I should have, so I'm sorry. It's all my fault that we don't even talk like we used to."

Minghao finally wriggles out of his arms and makes them both sit up on the grass.

"It's not," he protests. "I hate it when you do that. We're both at fault. I'm just... confused lately. I have some stuff to figure out, but I haven't been the best friend. So it's not just you."

Mingyu swallows heavily and searches his face, but he doesn't know what he's looking for.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, voice breaking slightly. "You think I would have minded that you wanted to pick a picture with my face?"

Minghao averts his gaze.

"I don't," he starts and cuts himself off. Frowns. Looks back up at Mingyu and he seems so lost suddenly. Mingyu's heart clenches. "I don't know why I did that."

Mingyu sighs. His knee is pulsing with pain; he must have hit it when they fell. Minghao's white shirt is stained with grass.

"I'm sorry," Minghao whispers and his eyes are so big and so close to Mingyu's own.

And Mingyu just smiles, pulling him into a hug, everything inside him aching deliciously.

"It was an amazing picture," he says into Minghao's hair.

"All of them were amazing," Minghao huffs, his fingers finding Mingyu's hair and running through it.

Mingyu melts, breathing in Minghao's warm, fresh scent.

"You were supposed to make me pancakes," he mumbles. "It's almost been a month."

"You're insufferable," Minghao mutters, getting up gracefully.

"And you are learning so many new words!" Mingyu says immediately with a shit eating grin. "Congrats."

"You don't know that many of them either," Minghao bites back, but helps him to his feet.

"Hey!" Mingyu protests. "I know plenty of words!"

Minghao just sends him a pitiful glance.

They walk back very slowly, because Mingyu's knee hurts. Minghao rolls his eyes and tells him how it's all his own fault, even though Mingyu knows that perfectly well. He also gets scolded because of the green stain on Minghao's clothes. He spends ten minutes fixing it with Eunwoo's magical potion.

"Weren't you supposed to go somewhere?" he asks, as he's making them both an early lunch.

"Wasn't that important," Minghao dismisses, watching Mingyu from his place on the kitchen counter.

He stole Mingyu's shirt, because Mingyu completely ruined his own, so that's only fair, and Mingyu is slowly dying inside from the image.

"Looked like it was," Mingyu notices carefully.

Minghao grimaces slightly.

"It was supposed to be a date."

Mingyu's stomach takes a plunge down to his feet, but he tries not to show how affected he is by that simple sentence.

"It was pointless to begin with," Minghao sighs and Mingyu can clearly hear irritation in his voice. "I just thought it would be a good excuse to do some shopping. It wasn't gonna lead to anything anyway."

Mingyu gulps.

"Anything meaning going out or sex?" he asks, keeping his voice as even as possible.

"Sex," Minghao answers bluntly. "I told you I'm trying to figure things out, I don't want a bigger mess adding dating to it."

Mingyu breathes out through his nose. It hurts. He doesn't know what he expected. He guesses it would hurt no matter what it was.

"She was a nice girl, though, wanted to have fun without jumping to bed right away," Minghao continues, dangling his legs. There is a moment of silence, only vegetables sizzling quietly on the pan. The sunlight is warm on Mingyu's arms. "Go shopping with me?" Minghao asks quietly.

Mingyu's heart skips painfully in his chest.

"You don't want to reschedule your date and go with that girl?" he makes sure anyway.

"Nah," Minghao stretches and Mingyu watches him in the corner of his eye. Minghao nudges his side with a foot. "You're more fun to pick clothes with."

"If you say so," Mingyu mumbles, a bit stunned, heart hammering somewhere in his ears.

"You can't go in your pajamas, though," Minghao smirks, the collar of Mingyu's shirt almost slipping off of his shoulder.

"Shut up," Mingyu grumbles, distracted. "You bailed, I had no choice."

"You could have stayed and spared us both embarrassment," Minghao huffs, but he's smiling this one lopsided smile that's Mingyu's favorite.

Mingyu smiles, too, gaze on the food he's preparing, intense warmth blooming inside his ribcage. So what, if he's in love with his best friend? So what, if that best friend knows about it? So what, if it hurts and is probably going to hurt for a long time yet? They're talking to each other. Minghao doesn't shy away from him, doesn't keep a distance. They're comfortable in each other's company again, keeping up the easy, familiar banter. They're still best friends, despite everything.

"You have to show me what you wanna wear, so I can approve," Minghao announces with his mouth full five minutes later.

Mingyu grins into his plate.

"You wish, your highness," he laughs.

Minghao kicks him under the table, but watches his face with a grin of his own.

They're still best friends.

***

"So you're fine already?" Seokmin asks, passing Mingyu a beer.

They're chilling with a game and Bambam, Jaehyun out on a date, Yugyeom at work. Mingyu isn't sure where Jeongguk is. Minghao is also on a 'date', because Junhui needed to vent, probably about Wonwoo.

Mingyu shrugs.

"I guess."

Bambam grimaces.

"You're not gonna do anything about the feelings?" he asks, sipping on some fancy, colorful drink Seokmin made him after a solid few minutes of huffing on Bambam's part.

"He knows about them," Mingyu says a little helplessly. "I think," he adds, because he's still not sure.

"That's not the same as confessing," Bambam points out.

"No shit," Mingyu grumbles. "I can't confess."

"Why not? He already knows anyway," Bambam says.

Mingyu knows he's just provoking him, but it makes him snap either way.

"Because he told me he doesn't want a relationship right now!"

Bambam and Seokmin gasp, staring at him with wide eyes. And then they start shouting at the same time. Mingyu barely understands half of it, trying to shut them up immediately.

"We didn't talk about us!"

"What?! But you just said-"

"He missed a date because of me and said he didn't care anyway," Mingyu explains before Bambam has the chance to ramble.

They both get quiet in half a second and the air gets slightly awkward.

"That sucks, man," Bambam says finally, patting Mingyu's shoulder.

Seokmin scoots closer to hug him and Mingyu isn't sure if all that is helpful, or exactly the opposite, but doesn't protest.

"Here," Bambam offers him the entire bottle of vodka, even though Mingyu barely started on his beer.

They watch stupid videos for another hour and then Jeongguk joins them, and Seokmin decides they should go get ice cream.

"You're all drunk, though," Jeongguk notices, blocking them from leaving the room.

"Yeah, so?" Seokmin asks, leaning heavily on Mingyu.

Mingyu is playing with his hair, in bliss, his body light and everything awesome.

"So I'm not," Jeongguk drawls.

Bambam gives him what's left of the alcohol.

"Where's Gyeom?" he slurs and Seokmin has enough sense to hold him up before he knocks both himself and Jeongguk to the floor.

"Right here," Yugyeom says cheerfully, stealing the bottle from Jeongguk and accepting Bambam's hug with a small laugh.

They're only missing Jaehyun and Minghao now, but it's still fun to go out for ice cream with the rest. Bambam is wild, flirting with every passerby and chasing pigeons, Jeongguk laughs so much, he falls into some bushes growing on the side of the road, and Yugyeom drags him out of there, giggling the rest of the way to the ice cream booth. Bambam gets them a discount somehow and Mingyu learns only after they leave that he gave the girl working there Mingyu's number.

"Well, not your number, a fake one," Bambam clarifies before Mingyu can get pissed.

"So that's why she was smiling so much at you!" Seokmin slaps Mingyu's back.

Mingyu trips and pushes Jeongguk accidentally, which results in Jeongguk lying in bushes for the second time, just with added weight of Mingyu on top of him.

The night ends with Bambam crying from laughing too much, a few bruises on Jeongguk's uncovered knees and a promise to never repeat that kind of adventure and buy ice cream before getting drunk. They all know it's not going to work, they're too bad at impulse control, but that doesn't stop them from planning.

"I'm making a party," Bambam decides, situated snuggly in Seokmin's lap. Seokmin is dozing off. "Next week. Gonna invite everyone."

"Everyone?" Jeongguk repeats, starfishing on Jaehyun's bed.

"Everyone," Bambam says with flourish.

Mingyu realizes he's been playing with Yugyeom's hair for a while now. Yugyeom's eyes are closed, his head dropped back on the bed they're both sitting against, so Mingyu doesn't stop.

"Don't you have like, work tomorrow?" Seokmin asks Mingyu.

It's not even midnight yet, but Mingyu has to be up and sober at six, so he stands up reluctantly.

"Make a party, Mook," Yugyeom mutters, eyes still closed. "I mean, who knows, stuff happens at parties."

Mingyu raises an eyebrow at him, but it's not like Yugyeom can see it.

"That's exactly what I was thinking about," Bambam says. "As expected, my best bro."

Yugyeom blindly reaches for a high five and Bambam grants him one.

"What are you even talking about?" Mingyu asks, tying up his shoes.

"Hao might change his mind, if stuff happens," Jeongguk translates.

Mingyu snorts, his good mood slowly disappearing.

"I have no idea what kinda stuff would have to happen," he mutters, straightening too suddenly.

His head spins and he has to hold onto the door to keep his balance. It's going to be great waking up for work.

"Magical stuff, obviously," Yugyeom says.

Seokmin snores his agreement. Mingyu rolls his eyes and immediately regrets it.

"Put him to bed," is all he says as a goodbye.

What actually happens isn't as magical as it is messed up.

Bambam really invites everyone, and not even to his own apartment, because most seniors are complete suckers for him and getting Jaebum to open the frat house for countless people in the middle of summer seems like nothing.

"Come on, tell me I'm awesome," Bambam greets Mingyu and Minghao in the door, someone jumping out of the window on their left at the same time.

Mingyu thinks it was Seungcheol, but that can't be right, so he chalks it up to his imagination and decides not to dwell on it.

"Wasn't that Cheollie-hyung?" Seungkwan asks from behind Mingyu.

"Whatever," Minghao waves it off. "Even if it was, he has the right to have fun once in a while."

"Yeah, if fun doesn't equal broken limbs," Wonwoo mutters, the first to step over the threshold and disappear in the crowd of already drunk people.

Mingyu is about to go check, against his better judgment, but Bambam pulls him inside. Minghao's fingers are clenched on his shirt, making sure Mingyu won't vanish, and it makes him stupidly fond for no reason.

One of Bambam's Thai friends runs past them, shrieking, followed immediately by someone Mingyu doesn't recognize, who brandishes a banana ominously and laughs like a maniac. Mingyu doesn't want to know. There are so many people around, it's hard to decide where to look. They're pretty late, as the state of living room tells them, similar to the photos of cities after a hurricane ran past that Minghao studied once and showed Mingyu. Music is loud, mass of bodies moving to the rhythm in the middle of the room, some people already passed out under the wall, other trying to talk on the few couches standing around. Mingyu steps over a girl dry heaving into a potted plant and thinks he might be too old for this.

Minghao grabs his arm and drags him in the direction of the kitchen, as if he can tell exactly what just went through Mingyu's mind. Mingyu doesn't necessarily feel like drinking, but he doesn't have work the next day, so Bambam and Minghao won't let him off easy.

He’s more than tipsy when he realizes he can’t see any of his friends, surrounded by people he’s either spotted around the campus once or twice, or ones he doesn’t recognize at all. A pretty redhead is currently dancing next to him and they somehow get closer with wide grins, and it’s fun. Mingyu quickly realizes that the girl can dance, unlike him, and she notices too, because she leads him easily, at one point grabbing his hips to make him move more. Mingyu laughs, lightheaded and with bubbles popping wildly in his stomach from pure excitement. The song changes and the girl smiles at him apologetically, leaning in to tell him through pounding music that she should get back to her girlfriend. Mingyu nods and watches her go, still pumped. His arm is yanked abruptly and Soonyoung’s bright hair jumps into his vision.

“Hurry up!” Soonyoung shouts, ignoring Mingyu tripping over his own feet on the way.

Soonyoung doesn’t seem to be having fun, Mingyu thinks, when he finally gains control over his legs. He frowns, heartbeat jumping for different reason than fun now.

“What’s going on?!” he yells to Soonyoung, anxious.

“It’s Minghao!” Soonyoung yells back.

They climb the stairs in a flash and Mingyu’s stomach sinks to his knees when he sees the scene in front of him.

“Fuck!” Soonyoung hisses, running to Jeonghan, who has a guy twice his size in a chokehold. “Hyung, stop!”

His cheek is bruised, but Mingyu doesn’t doubt for a second that he’ll be fine. He should probably be more worried for the guy currently struggling to breathe in his hold, but gets distracted with another one, also unnecessarily big, who has Minghao pinned to the wall. Minghao seems calm, but Mingyu knows he isn’t by the manic glint in his eye that’s getting more and more apparent. Jeonghan and Minghao are actually one of the worst combos anyone could pick a fight with and for a second, Mingyu doesn’t know why Soonyoung even called for him. He can’t fight for shit. But then he gets it, once Minghao’s lips stretch slowly into a crazy, mocking half smile and the big guy raises his fist.

“Stop!” Mingyu shouts immediately, already going the whole way from being reported to spending the whole night at the precinct in his head.

It's happened once already.

The big guy actually turns to him, taken off guard.

“Why the fuck would I stop!” he snarls. “I know a fag when I see one and this bitch here almost looks like a girl! It tried to flirt with my friend!”

And Mingyu wanted to take care of this peacefully, he really did, but his brain switches off.

“Kim Mingyu, fucking _no_!” Minghao screeches, but Mingyu barely hears him, as he runs at the guy with all the force and hatred he can muster, prepared to beat the living shit out of the disrespectful fucker.

It’s all a blur after that and Mingyu wakes up at a loud slap. He stills, realizing the slap was a hand that just connected with his cheek. He blinks stupidly at Minghao’s pissed and at the same time resigned face. His jaw hurts like all hell, throbbing with dull pain. He’s in Yugyeom and Hoseok’s hold. He didn’t even know they were at the party.

“Fucking hell, Kim Mingyu,” Seungcheol says.

“You two, get the fuck out and don't ever let me see your ugly faces again,” Bambam commands, disgust clear in his voice.

Mingyu watches one big guy, still a bit purple because of Jeonghan, as he picks his friend, in a slightly worse condition, off the floor and pulls him towards the stairs. Mingyu looks back at Seungcheol, dumbfounded. His chest and head hurt a bit, too, now that he thinks about it. Seungcheol opens his mouth, frown firmly settled on his face, but Minghao raises his hand.

“Tomorrow,” he says only, grabbing Mingyu’s wrist to tag him after himself.

No one protests. Mingyu doesn’t either. He’s still not sure what happened. They walk a few blocks before Minghao stops and sinks to the ground. Mingyu is about to ask, if everything’s okay, when Minghao bolts back up, fire in his eyes.

“How fucking dumb are you?” he seethes. Mingyu opens his mouth, self-righteous anger exploding in his lungs, but Minghao isn’t done. “The situation was under control and I have no fucking idea why Soonyoung even ran for you, but what the actual fuck!” his accent is surprisingly stable and Mingyu doesn’t know why he pays attention to something like that right now. “The guy could have broken you in half, if we didn’t do something in time!”

“But!” Mingyu speaks finally. “What did you expect me to do when he said all those things! And I actually did something to him, right?”

“By accident!” Minghao hisses, which Mingyu’s pride doesn’t take all that well, and then groans in frustration. “Why do you think all this even happened? Because they threw a lame line and I fucking provoked them!”

“Why would you provoke them!” Mingyu shouts incredulously.

“Because I wanted to do something stupid!” Minghao yells so loud, his voice gets hoarse.

“But I can’t beat a guy who calls my best friend "fag" and “it”?! You damn hypocrite!”

“It’s not hypocrisy, if I knew I could fucking handle the situation!”

“How would you know I couldn’t?!”

“Mingyu, you dumb ass, you can’t fight!”

Mingyu is ready for a comeback, but he doesn’t have anything for that, so they just stand abnormally close to each other, breathing heavily in each other’s faces. Finally, after what feels like at least an hour, Minghao sighs deeply and rubs his forehead, grabbing Mingyu’s wrist again. He doesn’t have to anymore, but it’s not like Mingyu will complain. He’s still not sure what to make of the whole situation, but he does know that he would overthink it for the next twenty years, if he didn’t do anything, so he doesn’t regret his actions.

After screaming at each other, they walk slowly, and all the pain slowly catches up to Mingyu in the worst way. The adrenaline slips away bit by bit, until he’s exhausted and aching all over, and really pissed. Stewing in it never helps him, but Minghao doesn’t seem to be willing to listen to his side of the story at all, and he did let emotions get the better of him, so it’s not like he has rational arguments to win here. That only pisses him off more. His pride is hurt, too, and that’s just annoying.

The walk does him good, fresh night air clearing his head. Minghao’s fingers cool down to their usual temperature around his hand. They don’t talk at all, but maybe that’s good. Minghao’s shoulder bumps gently into his on the way, until they reach their apartment and the emotions are just a small knot at the bottom of Mingyu’s stomach.

He sits down when Minghao instructs him to, without a word, even though he thinks he should still make Minghao understand anyway.

"Here," Minghao says, pressing some ice against his bruised jaw, ignoring Mingyu's quiet hiss of pain. "This is why you listen to me when I tell you _fucking no_ ," he can't help but jab after all the yelling, and Mingyu glares at him begrudgingly.

"Thanks would be nice," he mutters.

He deserves as much for defending his best friend’s honor. Even if that best friend is an ass.

Minghao snorts, but it's not as sharp as it could be, his movements slow and soft now.

"Thanks for what? Letting some fucker provoke you and getting punched? Multiple times? Real hero," he rolls his eyes, but immediately focuses back on cooling Mingyu's face and touching his chest to check the state of his ribs.

Mingyu doesn't have a retort to that, no matter how hard he tries to think of something. Fighting with Minghao isn’t working out so well for him tonight. He won’t be able to make him understand, he thinks with resignation.

Minghao looks at him through his dark bangs, expression unreadable. Mingyu realizes their position suddenly, with Minghao standing over him like he does, and spares a second to be glad he's tall enough to have his face just below Minghao's navel. He wouldn't be able to stop staring, if he was level with his crotch. It’s weird to be thinking about it after being so frustrated with Minghao over something important, but the alcohol is still there, even if only a bit, making his mind float freely.

"Thanks," Minghao says suddenly and Mingyu startles, looking up at his crooked smirk, surprised at the sudden agreement. "For making the night interesting," Minghao explains, like the asshole he is.

"Glad I could get punched for your entertainment," Mingyu mutters with a pout, but he’s not pissed at all anymore.

Funny, how much one silly word can do, even when it’s not meant to be serious. Mingyu’s pride got restored, though. He simply likes being appreciated.

Minghao's smile gets softer, as he cards his fingers through Mingyu's hair.

"Don't be a baby," he murmurs.

Mingyu snaps up his head to glare at him, but Minghao just chuckles quietly and leans down to leave a slow, chaste kiss on his lips.

Mingyu forgets what they were talking about, forgets where he is, forgets about his jaw pulsing with pain, about his frustration. Minghao straightens like he didn't just crash Mingyu's entire life around him, like it's something he does regularly. Mingyu stares at him, shock slowly giving way to incessant ache in his chest, his heart pounding like crazy against his ribs. He opens his mouth, ready to spill everything, to just get it over with, because he's not sure what just happened, but he probably won't get a better chance than this.

But Minghao shakes his head slightly.

"Don't say it," he says, too sudden and sharp in the incredulous silence.

Mingyu almost chokes on the words stuck in his throat, bitterness bubbling in his stomach like acid.

"So you knew," he manages, voice breaking only slightly. "Since when?"

Minghao takes a step back to lean against the counter, staring at something next to Mingyu's head.

"The shoot," he admits quietly, the air around him impatient and itchy. "I wasn't sure before that."

Mingyu swallows thickly, tongue heavy in his mouth, jaw throbbing, head spinning.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Minghao takes longer to answer this time, cracking his fingers, annoyed and uncomfortable.

"What was I supposed to say? You never confessed," he accuses, irritation sipping into his voice.

Mingyu blinks, self-righteous anger slowly expanding his chest.

"You didn't want me to," he points out coldly. "You don't want me to even now."

"You can't just assume what I want!" Minghao snaps, glaring at Mingyu.

At least he's not avoiding his gaze anymore, but Mingyu's hackles rise instantly. Again.

"What was I supposed to do, then?! You stopped talking to me!"

"Not because I didn't want you to confess!" Minghao yells, and he's still as confusing as always, but now it pisses Mingyu off so bad.

"Then why?! You said you're figuring something out and don't want a relationship right to my face after I ruined your date! What was I supposed to assume?!"

"Fucking think for a second, Mingyu, what could I have been figuring out other than my entire relation with you!" Minghao is as loud as Mingyu is, because neither of them has ever backed out of a fight before and it's not going to happen now, especially that they already had a test run tonight.

"I don't know!" Mingyu seethes and realizes he's standing, even though he doesn't remember getting up. His ribs don’t appreciate it. "You were barely talking to me, I had no idea about your date, who knows what else could have been there! Maybe some gorgeous stranger of an unknown gender you met somewhere between ignoring me and taking pictures! It's easy for you to meet someone who's perfectly satisfied with just sleeping with you!"

"That girl I told you about was," Minghao hisses suddenly.

Mingyu opens his mouth to yell some more and then the words reach him.

"What?"

"I lied," Minghao growls. "She was perfectly okay with having sex. I was the one too damn conflicted to do it. It was pointless to see her in the first place."

Mingyu stares at him, completely shocked.

"You didn't have sex with anyone because you were confused about me?" he translates, frustrated with mixed signals Minghao is still giving him even now.

"Have you ever heard me getting off before?" Minghao mutters darkly, even when his ears turn red.

Mingyu's insides are a jumbled mess of too many emotions. He doesn't know what to think anymore. Minghao's voice from behind the wall flashes through his mind, high and desperate.

"It was for show?" he asks incredulously, face burning.

He pays little mind to it, because Minghao's gaze is piercing and sparkly, as he nods with an irritated sigh.

"You were trying to provoke me all this time?!" Mingyu exclaims.

He can't believe it. He has an urge to shake Minghao until he admits how incredibly stupid and nerve-wracking his actions have been.

"You expected me to what, tell you I know about your feelings and that I'm confused?! Kim Mingyu, you have to fucking know me better than that!"

"I know you can't stand talking about feelings, but this is too fucking much! Did you have to be so complicated?! I thought you hated my guts for the longest time!"

"I avoided you because I didn't know how I would react, if you said something!" Minghao shouts, much closer to Mingyu now, probably so that it's easier to yell in his face.

"But you don't want me to say anything even now! So if you still don't know, why did you kiss me?!" Mingyu's jaw is being electrocuted with sharp pain at every word by this point, but he doesn't intend to let go, not when they're finally talking about everything that's been stuck behind his ribs for three months now.

Minghao is staring at him with his eyes burning.

"I don't know!" he seethes. "If you didn't notice yet, I'm not the best at figuring out what I want."

Their chests are almost touching and Mingyu can feel the heat radiating off of Minghao's body. Black hair is messy on Minghao's forehead. Fuck it, Mingyu decides. There isn't much he has to lose by now.

"I'm in love with you," he says, voice strong and gruff.

He's still pissed, after all.

"I told you not to say it!" Minghao protests, the flush from his ears spreading to his cheeks and neck.

"And then you said you don't know what you want, so I'm saying it," Mingyu announces, poking Minghao's chest with a finger.

Minghao slaps it away, still glaring, but his expression changes just a tiny bit.

"What if it's too late for me?" he asks and Mingyu has no idea what he's talking about again. "What if those feelings I think I might have are something completely different, because you're my best friend?" Minghao clarifies before Mingyu asks what the hell is his deal.

Mingyu watches his face for a few long seconds, wondering how is it possible to express irritation and distress all at the same time. He shrugs.

"You have to tell me then," he says.

Minghao frowns. Mingyu has been rubbing the inside of his wrists for a while now, but neither of them acknowledges it.

"That's it?" Minghao asks.

"We can't do anything about it, if that's the case," Mingyu reasons, although it hurts just to think about it. "I refuse to go through another rollercoaster of mixed signals, though. So you have to tell me."

Minghao grumbles something under his breath, most likely in Mandarin.

"Fine," he agrees finally.

Mingyu raises an eyebrow.

"To what exactly are you agreeing here, because I confessed and you still didn't respond, immediately jumping to what ifs."

Minghao huffs in frustration, back to glowering at Mingyu.

"Let's do it," he decides. "And then you're gonna have to blame yourself, if it sucks."

"I love your optimism," Mingyu rolls his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Don't tell me what to do."

Minghao clucks his tongue.

"Your face is really swollen, so shut up," he grumbles, retrieving the ice they completely discarded and putting it back to Mingyu's face, anything but gently.

Mingyu hisses in pain, but doesn't complain further.

"This is gonna look peachy tomorrow," Minghao grins, all teeth, and Mingyu nudges his arm.

They're still chest to chest and Minghao's warmth feels incredibly nice. Mingyu is sleepy enough that the general shock and frustration has worn off, leaving him pliant in Minghao's hands. They should still talk, though, they should agree on how this is going to work from now on.

"Mingyu," Minghao says, looking up at him seriously, the bangs covering his eyes moving along with his eyelashes.

Mingyu really wants to talk and he also really wants to kiss Minghao until they're both used to it, until it's not strange, but comforting instead.

"Don't try to hold back just to not make it weird at first," Minghao tells him. "We're going all out, just like it works in any other relationship."

"People usually get to know each other in any other relationship before going all out," Mingyu points out. "That's what dates are for."

Minghao seems to think about it very seriously for a second, probably because he's never been in an actual relationship and also because he likes dates.

"Okay," he decides. "Let's go on dates. But we're doing fun things, since we don't have to get to know each other."

"In some ways, we do," Mingyu disagrees. "But yeah, let's do fun things."

Minghao smiles at him and Mingyu only now realizes he hasn't seen this sincere, happy smile in a very long time. His heart skips stupidly.

"But we're going all out, too, I haven't had sex in almost two months," Minghao adds casually and his desperate voice flashes through Mingyu's mind right on cue. Minghao's eyes sparkle with mischief. "I can put on another show," he suggests. "This time, you'll be able to watch."

Mingyu's stomach clenches with something hot, imagination immediately getting a few steps ahead. Minghao laughs at his undoubtedly dumb face.

"I'm blowing you as soon as this is fine," Mingyu points at his jaw, because who said they can't have sex and go on dates at the same time.

Minghao laughs again, quietly, eyes full of glitter, and Mingyu doesn't believe this is happening.

"Are you still drunk?" Minghao asks, his long fingers running through Mingyu's hair, scratching his scalp.

"Not really," Mingyu sighs in content, eyes drooping.

"Let's go to sleep," Minghao says, barely above a whisper.

Mingyu follows him to his room, his head filled with thoughts about wanting to do just that for so long, rest of the night already forgotten. Minghao gets out of his tight jeans and sparkly shirt, slipping on what must have been Mingyu's t-shirt at some point. Mingyu watches him from the door in a daze and disbelief, because he can do that now. Can watch him all he wants. Minghao won't look at him funny, won't tell him to get out.

"Don't be a creep," Minghao says with a small grin, throwing a t-shirt at Mingyu's head.

Mingyu huffs indignantly, undressing too. Minghao's gaze is different when Mingyu discards the black shirt Minghao picked out for him to put on for the party. Mingyu feels self-conscious all of a sudden, with his chest bare and jaw aching. It seems silly almost, to be so aware of his state of undress after parading naked around Minghao before. It's different now, though. Just like Minghao's eyes. Everything is different, even though not much has changed at all.

"You wanted to reject me, didn't you," the words are out before Mingyu realizes what he's saying. "If I confessed after the shoot, you would have rejected me."

Minghao's gaze is heavy, raw, lost. He nods slowly, biting down on his lip.

Mingyu's chest aches. He's almost too scared to ask, but chokes out the words anyway.

"What changed?"

Minghao turns away from him, letting out a huff with a slight frown.

"You started going on dates," he mutters, like he's pissed because of that fact.

Mingyu blinks at him in surprise. He definitely did not expect that. Slowly, an absent grin stretches his mouth.

"You were jealous?" he asks incredulously.

Minghao snaps up his head with a glare, but his cheeks are flushed.

"Shut up! That's not it!"

"Then what is it?" Mingyu asks, gaining his footing more and more.

He makes a small step towards Minghao. Minghao watches him suspiciously, but doesn't move from his spot.

"I just didn't like it," he says defensively. "You asked what changed, so this is what changed. I didn't care, if you went on a date before."

"I haven't been on a date in almost two years," Mingyu says, incredibly satisfied that he's not the unsure one for once.

"You were just recently," Minghao protests.

"The first one was because of Yoon Jeonghan and I spent it bitching about you to Minhyuk-hyung. He spent it bitching about someone called Chae Hyungwon. Not really a date, but it was fun."

"Why would you bitch about me to complete strangers!" Minghao huffs, scandalized. 

Mingyu shrugs.

"It just happened. Made me feel better, too."

Minghao opens his mouth, but closes it after a second with a conflicted expression.

"What about the other date?" he asks finally.

Mingyu's grin widens. It's been some time since he rendered Minghao speechless.

“It was with Eunwoo,” he explains. “More a job interview than anything else.”

Minghao stares at him in disbelief for a moment and then throws his alarm clock at him. Mingyu dodges with a surprised yelp.

“You fucker!” Minghao hisses.

Mingyu laughs, catching the pillow Minghao throws next.

“What about the girl tonight!” Minghao demands and Mingyu pauses, suddenly connecting the dots.

“You provoked those big dudes because I was dancing with a girl?!”

He gets hit by a figurine, but he doesn’t care. Minghao’s face gets so red, it looks almost sick.

“No! No fucking way!”

“Oh my god!” Mingyu exclaims.

Crazy laugh bubbles in his lungs and he lets it out. Too many emotions, too many revelations for one night. Too many changes. Minghao picks up the mirror.

“No! Wait!” Mingyu yells, momentarily scared.

Minghao wouldn't have any problem throwing it, he’s sure. Minghao huffs and puts down the mirror, punching the wall instead. Mingyu jumps only a bit.

“Stupid fucking feelings, what the hell!” Minghao mutters, thumping his head against the wall, too.

Mingyu can’t do anything to stop the dumb smile that takes over his face. His heart is crazily fast now and he almost forgot about his jaw.

“It’s hard to deal with them sometimes,” he says wisely, which only gets him another bump on the forehead from a picture frame.

But Minghao gets over himself too quickly as for him, which means he’s as tired of everything as Mingyu is. Minghao doesn’t punch him when Mingyu hugs his lithe frame and leaves a kiss on his hair. Minghao doesn’t protest when Mingyu pulls him to the bed, doesn’t say a word when Mingyu lies them both down. Minghao is the first one that moves closer, always searching for warmth.

“Tonight’s been fucking crazy,” Mingyu mumbles, the smell of Minghao’s floral shampoo tickling his nose. “At least I know it’s not a dream. I wouldn’t be able to dream something like this, no matter how hard I tried.”

“And it’s gonna hurt like a bitch as a reminder,” Minghao adds, drowsy.

“Great,” Mingyu huffs.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to everyone who waited for an update  
> i am SO SORRY GUYS  
> i spent a month in the middle of nowhere, working at a camp, without any internet anywhere near me  
> and i'll be busy now, too, so the next update (probably the last one) might also be incredibly late,  
> forgive me!


End file.
